Sunday, May 27, 2012

Naan Pizza

We have a friend sleeping over, and it's Make-Your-Own Pizza Night.  We used whole-wheat naan bread as the base (perfectly sized for the big girls to eat their entire individual pies):  easy, yummy, and healthy.  They chose from pepperoni, ham, red onion, fresh garlic, artichoke hearts, basil, pineapple, and sliced tomatoes for toppings.

Parents' Pizza:  Pepperoni for him; ham for her

It's a gorgeous Memorial Day Weekend, so we ate outside.  One of us ate her pizza in the wagon:

Yay for summer!  So close.  

Thursday, May 24, 2012

List: Where I've Been

It's one of those months when activities and obligations and distracting flybys conspire to make me feel as if I am hardly keeping my nose above water.  You know, the end of the school year!  For example, "I just found out" (code for "I wasn't paying attention") that tonight is our daughters' school's Open House.  So we'll fit that in between work events and dentist appointments and if the kids are lucky, dinner. 

Here's where I've been spotted recently:

1. The Prom.
I can report that "Baby Got Back" is still a crowd fave.  Big butts haven't even needed to make a comeback--they transcend time! 

Heartwarming moment of Prom 2012:  a graduating senior with special needs brought his adult sister to the Prom with him, and requested Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me" as a surprise tribute to her.  Our students cleared the dance floor for their peer and his sister's slow dance, and then joined him in a tear-jerking love fest. 

We have one 'P' down now, and two to go:  the Pep Rally and Powderpuff.  Okay, and maybe the Prank (eeek)... 

2. Signing up for Summer Camp.
Unfortunately, not for myself

There's a cartoon about boat ownership that cracks me up; it depicts a man running up and down a dock with carts full of cash he unloads into the hull of his boat.  That's how it feels to arrange for childcare/meaningful experiences for the kids for the parts of summer when they're off and I am not.  Every time I lay out dollars to have my children supervised while I work, I wonder how families with fewer means make do.  Can we do a better job of supporting families through affordable childcare, huh, USofA?  For the good of the whole?

3.  Deleting Election Messages from the Answering Machine.
Leave.  Us.  Alone.

4.  Gearing up for No Big Change.
If you asked me in September, I would have predicted that by this time of year I'd likely have a new baby or a new job.  Alas, neither was meant to be.  On the bright side, I love my job and my life as it is.  And this summer I won't be overwhelmed by the advent of new responsibilities:  disappointment replaced by relief! 

5. Sopping up Water Pooling in the Fridge.
We don't know why we have water pouring from a mysterious source into our crisper and deli drawers, but the repairman who told me it was my fault for overloading our freezer was wrong, wrong, wrong (Ha!  I would get more pleasure out of being right if I didn't already pay the sanctimonious Fridge Doctor $200 to NOT solve the problem).  Meanwhile, we have a rotation of cold, wet towels if you need any. 

6. A Few Award Ceremonies.
My favorite ceremony at the high school is the Faculty Commendation Tea, in which staff members can commend students for ANYTHING:  having a cheerful smile, being profound, demonstrating improvement or perseverance or keeping a stiff upper lip through tough times.  Forget GPAs and scores and stats; this kind of recognition is where it's at. 

7. Blow-Drying Lotion-Laden Hair.
So, we had lice.  And at this point I am pretty sure everyone has lice.  Yes, you!  What makes you think you don't have it?  Have you even checked?  Because those buggers are so hard to get rid of, even if you're a nit-picking Mama like me, that it's a wonder we don't all just cry uncle and be like sharks, happily swimming around with their hitchhiking remora.  But here's where you point out that remora offer some benefit to sharks, and I HAVEN'T YET DETERMINED ONE BENEFIT OF LICE beyond bringing me and my daughters ever so much more closely together.  So, yes, we resolved to fight the fight and I do believe we're victorious.  Paranoia allows for a hint of doubt, though, so we are investing in some Overkill Treatments. 

According to lore, as well as the Brave Moms willing to admit that they've had a louse in the house (fie on you non-disclosing parents!  You are not helping the team!), the most effective treatment is the "Nuvo Method," which involves soaking the hair in lotion, combing most of it out, and then blowing the lotion-y hair dry.  The last step seems so utterly impossible that after thirty minutes of blowing gummy hair I wondered if this was some Super Evil Person's plot to further torture a parent already brought to her knees by Pediculus humanus humanus. 

8. Making Lasagne.
I may be feeling the overwhelm of end-of-year events, but that won't stop me from volunteering to make lasagne for the Staff Appreciation Lunch at daughters' school!  What it will stop me from doing is putting it on my calendar, so that I mistakenly cook a giant gourmet lasagne a whole week in advance.  We celebrated Family Appreciation that evening.  And then I made another one this week.  Thank goodness for no-boil noodles.

9.  Cheering at Lacrosse Games
What a cool sport.

10. Being Alternately Speechless and Outraged over the State of our State's Budget.
Our friends--librarians, nurses, teachers with years of experience--are losing their jobs. Class sizes are increasing and programs are being lost. Who will step up to educate the next generation of children? Why would young people today be motivated to pursue a career in schools with such bleak forecasts? Dismay.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Healing My Heinie

In another justification of my fear of falling, I fell down hard on ice rather than run over Big Sis at the rink and suffered a tailbone injury that is like WOW OW OW OWWWWW I WILL NEVER TAKE MY FANNY FOR GRANTED EVER AGAIN.  I've had a pain in the patootie for three weeks with seemingly no end in sight, and I am happy to whine to you about it.  Or to squirm uncomfortably when I am seated in your presence, so you wonder about my exaggerated leg crossings and weirdly earnest elbows-on-knees-chins-in-palms posture.  I seem both inattentive and then overly so, all in the same meeting. 

People who have hurt their heinies are not helpful.  I've heard, "Oh YEAH...(eyebrows raised)...that takes MONTHS to feel better," and, "You know what?  That happened to me YEARS AGO, and when it's cold or damp out or I sneeze, my arse STILL hurts!" 

Whoopee!  As in, cushion?  Forever? 

No, I'm not going to the doctor, because Doc Google implies, what are they going to do anyway, not put my caboose in a cast, duh, so it doesn't matter if it's cracked or fractured or broken or just bruised.  The only remedy is rest.  Unless, of course, after eight weeks I still can't even bend over or stretch to grab something off a high shelf, in which case maybe they need TO SURGICALLY REMOVE MY TAILBONE, which doesn't sound like a convenient cosmetic procedure.  All of this only leaves me wondering what we're doing, humans, with this wacky vestigial organ that seems to get in the way of the soft landing otherwise offered by my derriere.

I've spent all these months recently strengthening my core with P90X (previously I only strengthened my legs, by running), and I am here to tell you that despite the fact I have appreciated the fruits of my efforts, you can forget your abs, your obliques, or your whatevers, because Your Core is actually Your Butt.  Paris could have taken down Achilles with an easy arrow to the tush instead of aiming for the heel, because it all relates back to the hind end, no matter how rippled your six pack.  Weak abs do not prevent you from driving your car.  Or from walking.  But ruin your rump, and you will not sleep. 

I like unimpaired butts, and I cannot lie.

Do me a favor today, and give your posterior some appreciation.  Kiss your own ass, if you will.  It's doing good work, even when it's just sitting around.