tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50542705037602814792024-02-20T08:51:36.059-08:00my whole life is on the tip of my tongueferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.comBlogger594125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-21692545785013786002020-03-10T22:33:00.000-07:002020-03-12T00:00:56.740-07:00I See You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Anyone else out there feeling vulnerable?<br />
<br />
Coronavirus, and not knowing for sure what's next or right or reasonable in preparing for, preventing, and managing it, is our new shared, global, collective anxiety. COVID-19 has also become part of the greater preexisting web of things we worry about, while expanding and exposing our already tender underbellies.<br />
<br />
Quarantines and social distancing and closed schools and businesses are conspiring to keep us apart for our own good. And yet, we <i>need</i> one another. Because underlying This Big Worry are all the other stressors and circumstances, short- and long-term, big and small, which existed before and many of which will still be around after Coronavirus has peaked and then waned.<br />
<br />
Maybe it's Daylight Savings. Lack of sleep? Elections. Tragedy. There's menopause. Cancer diagnoses and treatments. College applications, acceptances, and rejections. Grades. Finances. The stock market. Depression. Parenting. Providing. Trying to make a doctor's appointment. Your child's behavior. Being a good __<i>fill in the blank</i>__. Death in your family. Fear of death in your family. Taxes. The news. Accidents. Social media. Anxiety. Report cards. SAT tests and scores. Being responsible; is this what it means to be responsible? GPA. Insurance. Deferred maintenance. That pit in your stomach. Your children. The Joneses. Marriage. Dating. Your appearance. Driving. Climate change. Being left out or feeling left out or FOMO. Natural disaster. Your to-do list. Your job? Mortgages, or rent. That thing you said. Also that thing you didn't say. Your carbon footprint. Panicking...or not panicking? Your parents' health. Missing your parents. Your relationship with alcohol. Someone else's relationship with alcohol. Your relationships. Do you need therapy? Therapy. Passwords. Travel. Real ID. The DMV. Copays. Aging. Being dead. Suicide. Living up. Being there. Being there when you can't be. Nutrition. Clean water. Regret. Wildfires. Preparedness. Helping others. Doing your part. Maintaining perspective. Being aware. Not overreacting. Putting your phone down. Laundry. Doing enough. Organic food. Charitable contributions. Forgetting. Animal rights. Violence. Retirement. Healthcare. Job performance. Balanced meals. Landfills. Recycling. Faith. Teenagers. The cost of oil. War. Feeling accepted. Feeling seen.<br />
<br />
Vulnerabilities are normal and natural and every day; they accentuate our humanness and connect us with others. They're why we innovate and why we experiment and create; they're why we write novels and poetry and plays and songs and make music and paint and sculpt and reach out and act courageously and help and represent others. Sharing our vulnerabilities and connecting with others' fears and insecurities helps us feel less lonely.<br />
<br />
Our vulnerabilities can also spotlight our least desirable tendencies; they're why we manipulate and hoard and judge and fear our neighbors and develop addictions and point fingers and lash out and isolate ourselves.<br />
<br />
And we're <i>all</i> vulnerable right now in our new shared reality. Social media posts would suggest that we are asserting or seeking validation that our own approaches to current circumstances make the most, best sense. Despite our links to experts' advice and testimonials, most of us don't really know the actual best way forward. So we muddle through, collectively, along both parallel and intersecting paths.<br />
<br />
At the height of his own fearfulness, Scaredy Squirrel, a Master Paranoiac and Overreactor, fell out of his seemingly safe tree sanctuary and serendipitously discovered he could fly.<br />
<br />
But it's not a great time for us to venture forth into the Great Unknown. We are likely to be having to hunker down (or up in our trees) soon with our nut supply and a limited view.<br />
<br />
If elbow bumps are the closest safe contact, hugging and helping become rare gifts.<br />
<br />
And that's why it's more important than ever to poke our heads out of our trees, acknowledge one another from a safe distance, and share more than our excess toilet paper, as our <i>other</i> struggles appear to recede in significance in the face of this pandemic.<br />
<br />
Because Coronavirus isn't our only reality. It's not our only vulnerability.<br />
<br />
I see you, parenting a child with disabilities. I see you, cutting corners to make ends meet. I see you, in charge of making the tough calls in times like these. I see you, unable to visit elderly loved ones. I see you, worried about a family member's mental health. I see you, mourning the death of your parent(s). I see you, minimizing your own stress while maximizing your availability for others. I see you, wondering if you/he/she will graduate. I see you, worrying about test results. I see you, struggling to speak up. I see you, researching resources to help yourself or someone else. I see you, wondering if anyone notices.<br />
<br />
<i>I see you. </i><br />
<br />
I see you, trying hard every day.<br />
<br />
Acknowledging the journeys of others, unfolding before us even from a distance, might be what keeps us best connected in these unprecedented but also <i>normal</i> times.<br />
<br />
I see you, searching for meaning. Whom can you help be and feel seen?<br />
<br />ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-47899743274405062082019-12-17T21:25:00.001-08:002019-12-18T11:13:21.944-08:00Inessential Oil<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">To “jennymoore it” means to attempt to fix or improve something but with shortcuts and missing steps, thereby making matters...<i>worse</i>. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">I </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">have a history: of trying to pry the security dye capsule off a pair of pants I LEGITIMATELY bought (but was too lazy to take back to the store)...of using Sharpies to cover bleach spots, and then needing another something that erases Sharpie marks...of supergluing stuff that requires spackle or caulk, or, caulking things that require spackle...or using whatever happens to be around to patch holes (homemade papier-mache, for example). I've even jennymoored my hair. Have you tried hair dye on your eyebrows--haphazardly? That's JENNYMOOREING IT to the next level. </span><br />
<br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, system-ui, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">So tonight I jennymoored my sinuses.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, system-ui, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">I fall prey to a sinus infection every year or so. A</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">nd nothing makes me fantasize about strange remedies—like shower nozzles and vacuum cleaners focused up my nostrils—than a sinus infection. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">My entire face/nose/head region has been driving me bonkers for a few weeks now and <i>I KNOW! </i> <i>I should see a doctor at this point! </i> But who has time for that because: HOLIDAYS. And anyway, <i>I can totally handle this myself, DUH...</i>which (spoiler alert) is the basis for all epic jennymooreisms.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, system-ui, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">Enter oregano oil! A home remedy with only anecdotal evidence of efficacy. But hey, desperate times. I bought myself a vial while I was at the grocery store and was so excited to use it that despite nothing but the satisfaction that "oregano oil" and "sinuses" have Google searches in common, and no other preparation than to confirm that the oil in my vial was in fact diluted, I went ahead and hopefully droppered some right into each nostril. Boldly, during Middle Sis's piano lesson, like someone with nothing to lose.</span><br />
<br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, system-ui, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">And then the fire began. An intense burning sensation spread quickly up my nose and into my eyes and throat. My nose felt suddenly swollen by two sizes. My heart started pounding. I sneezed and both my nose and eyes watered profusely, so I wiped my nose on my sleeve and then used the SAME sleeve to dab at my eyes, thereby spreading the offending cousin-of-stinging-nettle oil to EVEN MORE MUCOUS MEMBRANES. I tried to remain calm and quiet and NOT PANICKY! while marveling at how crazy my face and head were feeling and wondering if I would be scarred or disfigured from this self-inflicted horror. A strange numbness then took over and my nostrils throbbed along with each beat of my heart. I silently wallowed in regret. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">When the piano lesson ended minutes later and our beloved piano teacher turned to talk to me, I was visibly weeping and ruefully attempted to explain my sinus remedy mishap. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">She offered me a lifeline in the form of tissues and we wished her happy holidays. We walked to the car; I, smelling like pizza and hoping I could drive home, muttering recriminations about my impulsive purchase and how I would soon be offering oil up for free on the "buy nothing" Facebook group of which I'm a member. I recalled that growing up, there was banter about substituting oregano for marijuana or mistaking one herb for the other. <i>Back in the day, you know.</i> When the prospect of </span><span style="color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">ODing on oregano was a FUNNY JOKE. <i> </i></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">Meanwhile, the spectrum of sensations wrought by said oil did serve to momentarily distract me from sinus pain. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">So as I write this I predict that if I am cured of my maladies by tomorrow, I will dip into the oregano again, maybe in another year when my sinuses have me banging futilely on my temples and the memories of searing sinus flames have dimmed. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #201f1e; font-family: "segoe ui" , "segoe ui web (west european)" , "segoe ui" , , , "roboto" , "helvetica neue" , sans-serif; font-size: 14.6667px;">Otherwise, free oregano oil to the next hapless victim! Or, expect to be served some richly oregano-infused pasta sauces at my house. To be eaten, not snorted.</span>ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-7459518369794425512019-11-16T16:53:00.000-08:002019-11-16T17:20:25.321-08:00Eulogy: Sandy Ferguson 1947-2019<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">My 11<sup>th</sup>
grade daughter frequently reminds us that she loves every single one of her
teachers this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s wonderful to
know your child is inspired, loved, and motivated by her teachers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In turn, she has genuine interest in who they
are as people and thinkers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I, like her,
felt that extraordinary connection with my teachers at Coronado High School,
and the idea that I could be part of the kind of relationships these giants in
my life inspired is why I am an educator today. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Sandy Ferguson, or “Ferg,” or "Fergie," and yes, we once dedicated the song "Fergalicious" to him at a Homecoming
dance late in his career, was my teacher in 9<sup>th</sup> and 10<sup>th</sup>
grade history and then for half of my classes in 12<sup>th</sup> grade (for
history, ASB, and then, well, I signed up to be his TA too).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I spent half of my school days my senior year
with this man who was kind of like my dad at school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I admired his humor, his expressive eyebrows,
his handwriting, his VW bus, the tee shirts whose life he stretched past viable structural integrity, and that he ran on the beach. In turn, I felt
smart, funny, capable, challenged, talented, understood, and real around and
because of him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Sandy
Ferguson met each person he encountered, adult and child, with humanity
first—not with authority, not with superiority, despite his intellectual
prowess and vast funds of knowledge. Instead, it was as if he set out to
demonstrate that taking mutual respect for granted actually made it
happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He treated us like adults but
understood that it was in our adolescent nature to test boundaries. He figured
we’d learn from navigating them in the context of safe and trusting
relationships with adults. He gave us independence and freedom as both students
and leaders of our peers, saying yes more often than no, but challenging us to
figure out if we got it right. A master of mischief himself, he tolerated our
incessant pranking (we turned his posters upside down, moved classroom furniture
to his office or the hallway--capers made possible by his often late arrival to class).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">He was
also the teacher who called my parents in spring of senior year when I’d been
accepted to college and was blowing off notes and assignments (after giving me
fair warning). His manner of intervention was inspiring you to reflect on your
own behavior, as if your choices and their consequences were a discussion you
needed most to have with yourself. He taught us about geographical features
like drumlins and all the rivers of South America, and then pushed us to think
critically about history and politics and brought back former students to talk
passionately about what they were learning in college. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Because
I came back to Coronado to teach, I had the privilege to be not only Sandy’s
student, but his colleague, and then his administrator, both supporting and
feeling daily gratitude for his devotion to CHS and district athletics and
facilities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can imagine how poignant
it was when, after Sandy retired and Alzheimer's was affecting his acuity, he
would stop by CHS from time to time and implore me to put him to work in any
capacity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>I need to be here, he’d plead,
I need to work with you all.</i> And we made plans for him to come back and help, but it would
be weeks or months before he returned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And perhaps he might have regretted that it seemed too late for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And
though his illness robbed our brilliant friend of many productive years, what
I’d really like to say to Ferg is, <i>you achieved it all in the time you had with us, and
you, my mentor, also achieved Ralph Waldo Emerson’s definition of success:</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> "</span></span><span style="background: #f2f2f2; color: black; font-family: "comic sans ms"; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;">To laugh
often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of
children; to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether
by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know
even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have
succeeded."</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 10.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">
<span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Thank
you, Sandy Ferguson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-73569704785735271692019-02-14T21:14:00.001-08:002019-02-14T21:32:45.657-08:00List: Little Loves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8hVZij8WkFPFkfC3NYEwMSW0bdhJId_90gPfWmq7lnmQe6e0Cv2vat11fW1bETZKipRNCz4B6LtQ4ROrtLjh5c5vg74hd1wBegG5Wt5y96B7osMyzqj4QdCnqgM5sEiLegpp3PDgR-Vtl/s1600/745B4148-B480-4973-BB4D-1677C6BB691F.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8hVZij8WkFPFkfC3NYEwMSW0bdhJId_90gPfWmq7lnmQe6e0Cv2vat11fW1bETZKipRNCz4B6LtQ4ROrtLjh5c5vg74hd1wBegG5Wt5y96B7osMyzqj4QdCnqgM5sEiLegpp3PDgR-Vtl/s320/745B4148-B480-4973-BB4D-1677C6BB691F.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m thinking of all the people and things I love as well as those which may never receive valentines, but nevertheless warrant my recognition and affection.<br />
<br />
Here’s my Little I Love You list:<br />
<br />
1. Mittens and pacifiers and stuffed animals, etc. dropped out of strollers but picked up by someone and hung in a noticeable spot (fencepost, bench) in hopes that the owner will discover and recover that lost and loved item.<br />
2. Little kids sporting backpacks of disproportionate size to their growing bodies and featuring numerous dangling thingamajigs from zippers, etc.<br />
3. Plants that grow in seams and cracks of brick walls, freeways, bridges and other seemingly uninhabitable spots.<br />
4. The <a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=undefined&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwjbgp6Nr7rgAhXmiFQKHR9iDO8QzPwBCAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.sandiegouniontribune.com%2Fnews%2Fpublic-safety%2Fsd-me-coronado-bridge-spikes-20190115-story.html&psig=AOvVaw07ey8Jz0JD_NMu7qPFBGTi&ust=1550204281063618" target="_blank">transportation workers who are installing spikes on our bay bridge to prevent people from dying by suicide. </a>I hope they feel as important as they are in saving lives.<br />
5. Yarn bombers and <a href="http://banksy.co.uk/" target="_blank">Banksy</a> and <a href="https://obeygiant.com/" target="_blank">Shepard Fairey </a>and other folks who spread messages of goodwill or needed change through visual magestry.<br />
6. The kid in the class who, in moments of teacher exasperation, makes meaningful eye contact to convey, <i>Yeah, I feel you. </i>And every other form of similar kinship that happens subtly out there when two people share an empathic moment, even strangers in a crowd, traffic, subway car, etc.<br />
7. People who feel little disappointments every day—not being picked for the team, not winning the classroom raffle, not getting the top score ever, not being asked or invited to the group thing, but who pick up and dust off and show up everyday cheerfully nonetheless.<br />
8. Hummingbirds and butterflies.<br />
9. Hilarious (and harmless) people on the internet.<br />
10. Elderly people with walkers or canes who walk their dogs daily, even in the rain. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-72018092903478962142019-01-06T16:35:00.001-08:002019-01-06T16:43:20.171-08:00Friends and Stuff<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0WDT1BoHS7CRzFm2rEDTZHagPyv1lwRMMOU7o9L6j27HiAv2lMMc-5rT02hHp8Jl4drNL8TkjjwkI_NOw-dEwPRAePue6hZY4YAdm97iKl_IcSLW2VtJWsOAgF5bjljkC_LWt7xLVhsbW/s1600/Ornaments.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="413" data-original-width="640" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0WDT1BoHS7CRzFm2rEDTZHagPyv1lwRMMOU7o9L6j27HiAv2lMMc-5rT02hHp8Jl4drNL8TkjjwkI_NOw-dEwPRAePue6hZY4YAdm97iKl_IcSLW2VtJWsOAgF5bjljkC_LWt7xLVhsbW/s320/Ornaments.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ornaments of 2001</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I began cleaning up Christmas with the plan to sort, weed out, and reorganize our decorations. I hoped to resent the Post-Holiday Fer of 2019 less than I did the 2018 Me when I opened our haphazardly and hastily packed boxes of decorations and ornaments this season. I imagined myself testing for sparks of joy a la Marie <a href="https://konmari.com/" target="_blank">Kondo</a> to determine which tchotchkes to keep and which to discard. I pictured fewer bins of decor in the garage. I visualized a minimalist Christmas this December.<br />
<br />
I enlisted Middle Sis, Tootsie, and her cousin to de-ornament the tree and my grand plans were quickly abandoned when one by one, the ornaments some of my oldest friends sent to me back in 2001 were plopped in my lap. <br />
<br />
In 2001 my then-fiance/now-husband and I bought our first house. Amidst counting pennies from our change jar and trying to believe we'd "grow into" our mortgage (as our broker cheerfully reassured us we would), we packed boxes and piled them in the carport for ferrying across the bridge to our new (old) house and neighborhood. The rental house we were leaving opened onto an alley, as do numerous rentals in the town in which we grew up. Alleys in Coronado have their own characters, stories, and rules to live by. Everyone knows that furniture and discards placed along the alley are up for grabs. And nothing abandoned in an alley lasts long.<br />
<br />
But my boxes of Christmas ornaments were stacked temporarily at the top of our carport driveway, nestled against our storage space attached to the house (in lieu of a garage). Inside those boxes were the ornaments my parents had given me each year of my 30, often with a theme matching a family trip or significant event. It's safe to say that those ornaments were probably the first, second, or third items I would grab in the event of fire, along with photo albums and some sentimental jewelry.<br />
<br />
Needless to spell out, during the short time I and my fiance were away from the house, those boxes were taken. All my ornaments. I was crushed.<br />
<br />
But because those were the only boxes left there, I figured whoever took them was likely disappointed or at least not interested in the contents and might return or discard them after recognizing their sentimental value. It was 2001, so I placed an ad in the local paper with a passionate plea for their return, to no avail. I lamented their loss to everyone I knew.<br />
<br />
My parents, it turned out, had some duplicates of our annual ornaments which they gave me. Family friends and students presented me with new ornaments. <br />
<br />
And then my high school friend group organized to send me ornaments from their current homes across the US. The dolphin from my friend's annual holiday Hawaii trip is missing its tail, but the significance of not only the ornament, but those annual family trips which don't happen as frequently, sustains.<br />
<br />
I learned in 2001 that beloved ornaments, like so many other material things, are just "stuff." And while seemingly irreplaceable, if those ornaments my buddies sent me 18 years ago were to disappear tomorrow, I'd know that my friends, who remain true and present today, would come through. Instead of new ornaments, their enduring friendship is all I really need.<br />
<br />
So sorry, Marie Kondo, this isn't the year for tossing ornaments. And cheers to lifelong friends, true sparks of joy.<br />
<br />
<br />ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-58681696734765578012018-12-31T14:49:00.001-08:002019-01-06T16:41:32.882-08:002018 New Year's Eve is resolution-, <a href="https://mywholelifeisonthetipofmytongue.blogspot.com/2013/01/family-action-plan-2013.html" target="_blank">family action plan</a>-, and <a href="https://mywholelifeisonthetipofmytongue.blogspot.com/search?q=intention" target="_blank">intention-making</a> time but I'm thinking about what I learned and put into practice this past year, and am curious about what others would identify as epiphanies of 2018 as well.<br />
<br />
As with so many years, memes and images of kicking 2018 to the curb are filling my feed, and not without cause, with illness, loss, tragedy, disasters, and injustice plaguing those we know and love and others we nevertheless care deeply about.<br />
<br />
I'm grateful to myself for following my instincts in 2018 and making a significant career change from high school to elementary school administration. I spent the summer mourning my workplace of 18 years and relearned that while I often welcome change and transition, I do not flow through it without turbulence. Despite some self doubt and fear of failure, I trusted, though, that I was right about the need for evolution, renewal, recharge, and a fresh opportunity, and there have been numerous times this fall and winter when I've actively thanked myself and those who opened this door for me.<br />
<br />
My family is benefiting from my less-fettered mind and schedule, as I marvel at what my kindergartener and I am learning (together!) and that I can focus attention on a few high schoolers and middle schoolers versus hundreds.<br />
<br />
It feels like a tremendous privilege to be leading a school and learning so much at the same time at this point in my career. It feels like I knew the right thing was not to take what most would predict as the logical next step--climbing a higher rung on a career ladder--but to venture out on a different limb of a familiar tree. I am proud of myself for taking a less conventional path, and for knowing when to do it.<br />
<br />
I expect that 2019 will be a lot about digging deeper into this new challenge and opportunity, while enjoying the fruits from seeds planted in 2018.<br />
<br />
Happy New Year!ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-90276860746224817442018-06-15T09:01:00.000-07:002018-06-20T12:59:17.870-07:00Commencement Speech 2018<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXlRDML8M2KfabuBmq2jU-YAacwTfFSewUX0vXPCEtrcVJekmwmb8YJ4qF2BzV2J3V8Zb5nYDARZMVqW_9Wunx_tTtdkQ10_BmGJ719c9UDblin1SE-qwbZlbZ2nVZ6Mr-eDz7d8jnIgQN/s1600/Laurel+Yanny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="677" data-original-width="960" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXlRDML8M2KfabuBmq2jU-YAacwTfFSewUX0vXPCEtrcVJekmwmb8YJ4qF2BzV2J3V8Zb5nYDARZMVqW_9Wunx_tTtdkQ10_BmGJ719c9UDblin1SE-qwbZlbZ2nVZ6Mr-eDz7d8jnIgQN/s320/Laurel+Yanny.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Yesterday was likely the last time I'll deliver a high school graduation speech for a while! I am making elementary school my new professional home.<br />
<br />
It was my honor to deliver the keynote address for the Class of 2018 last night:<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Dear Class of 2018,
thank you for inviting me to speak with you and our guests tonight.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We are going to start
with a little experiment. I am going to say some words, and you are going to
listen and pay attention to what you hear. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Yanny.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Laurel.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Jenny. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><i>Laurel.</i></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Maybe you heard me say <b>Laurel</b>.
Maybe you heard <b>Yanny</b>. I sneaked a <b>Jenny </b>in there too, in deference to the fact that many of you will start calling me that at
about 9:00 tonight if you haven’t already. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Recently, the internet
introduced us to this <b>Yanny/Laurel</b> sound file, and mysteriously, most of
us could only hear one of those words when it played. This prompted an
online debate reminiscent of the photo of the famous dress that circulated in
2015, which people declared to be either <b>blue and black</b>, or <b>white and
gold</b>. We now know that hearing Yanny or Laurel depends on the
frequencies your particular ears hear, and the color of the dress is related to
how your brain processes ambient light. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">When I was a teenager</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> I copied quotes from
song lyrics I thought were deep or relevant or really spoke to the devastating
romantic moment I was going through, and I would share them with my <b>best
friend</b> who was like, you listen to the lyrics? I listen to the
guitars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mind was kind of blown.
To me songs were mostly about their <b><i>meaning</i></b>. To her,
they were about music. We were both listening to Oingo Boingo and hearing
different parts. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So what I find
fascinating about our reactions to these internet debates about words and
dresses is our absolute certainty that <b>what WE perceive is the THE RIGHT ANSWER</b>: “It’s Laurel, and the rest of you are crazy,” “the
dress is blue. There is no white.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>WHY is it<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so shocking to be
confronted with evidence that we see and hear things differently from one
another? After all, there are people who like pineapple on pizza
and who enjoy the smell of gasoline, and who can even walk on burning rocks
without flinching. Some of us are warm tonight, and others are cold, and
you cannot tell someone they’re not cold. We see, hear, taste, smell, and feel
things <b>differently</b>. We also find different things beautiful,
and funny, and gross, and sad, as well as easy and difficult. We believe
differently too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Thank goodness, by the
way. I enjoy having friends with houses of different styles and colors
and eating dishes other people cook and I’ve appreciated YOUR unique approaches
to fashion and differing preferences and viewpoints and influences. <b> I’m
urging us to move beyond it HAS to be Laurel, it’s ONLY EVER a white dress,
Crocs are universally ugly, and peanut butter and pickle sandwiches can never
be good.</b> How about a different approach, like <i>OMG, you love crocs?
Please tell me more about this affection you have for wide plastic shoes!
</i> And then, we listen intently instead of shaking our heads in an inability
to understand and ACCEPT that some people enthusiastically rock crocs. <b>Last
week my daughter asked me to put diced apples in her tuna sandwich and I was
like <i>ewww, okay. </i></b> And then I was hungry, and there was extra tuna, and I
tried it. <i> You guys.</i> This could be a new thing, like chicken
and waffles, or bacon with maple syrup. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We could stop replaying
the Yanny and Laurel loop in search of hidden syllables (or to prove ourselves
so very right about what we hear), and instead<b> seek to understand one
another a little more</b>--how others’ backgrounds, experiences, and influences
affect THEIR RESPONSES to the world and how things makes <b>them </b>feel--so
often differently from ourselves. <b> I believe that’s one of the valuable
lessons from Anthony Bourdain</b>, who found no cuisine, from a villager’s
daily porridge to the most expensive dish at a high-end restaurant, unworthy
of his exploration and our attention. Similarly, he valued the stories of
the people he met, both humble <b>and </b>famous, and championed the challenges
and contributions of <b>dishwashers and executive chefs alike</b>--as all <b>essential
</b>members of culinary teams who feed us. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Ms. Bice and I talked
recently about how critical it is for everyone, <b>regardless of age and
experience</b>, to feel they have stories to tell worthy of others’ ears.
She and your teachers have obviously had the purpose of <b>teaching </b>you,
but the essence of that purpose has been to prompt and elicit your OWN analyses
and understandings of what you’ve heard, read, seen, and experienced. Our
jobs are made joyful by the fact that <b>WE KNOW</b> your stories already
matter, and that they’re important and instructive. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">We have much to learn
from generations before and after us, if we don’t condemn them for lack of
relevance or experience. We are watching the elders in our society grow
in understanding <b>that high school students can be the greatest experts on
topics which affect them most acutely, and when they speak up and demand to be
heard.</b> Millennials are teaching our parents and my generation that
money is best spent on experiences vs. things. It’s wise to to befriend
and consult older folks, too, particularly as you cross thresholds of life--we
elders can empathize and share our own experiences of self doubt, of <b>loves
lost, of career pivots, and generally make you feel like you can get through,
too, as we have before you. </b></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Class of 2018, you’ve
already demonstrated the depth of your awareness and ability to listen
carefully and perceptively not only to each other, but to members of your
community. You’ve paid attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a quality of this class we
admire and celebrate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’ve honored
contributions of all types of people who’ve supported you through your
recognitions and recent notes of <b>gratitude to teachers, coaches, youth group
leaders, tutors, office staff, security guards, administrators, and substitute
teachers. </b></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><br />
</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And on this journey
we’ve all shared together students, staff, and families, we’ve listened to one
another <b>debate, play, sing, shout, joke, lecture, present, recite, whine,
plead, argue, laugh, cry, apologize, and congratulate.</b> These are all
sounds of being human, recognizable no matter what frequencies our own ears
hear. I’m grateful you and I were human here at CHS together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Graduates, keep your eyes and ears and minds
and hearts open, seeking to understand more about this rich, diverse, and
fascinating world you’ll help shape. Thank you, and love you all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-43926571067611143042018-05-29T11:45:00.000-07:002018-05-29T11:45:53.006-07:00Practice PrideMy high school hosts an annual awards ceremony for students in the top 5% of each discipline. I was asked to make this year's keynote address. Here are my words for students, their families, and staff:<div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Islander Awards 2018</span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Students, we are very </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">proud </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">of you. Coronado High School is one of the </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">top comprehensive public high schools</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> in the County, and you are recognized as tops in your disciplines. Your names were offered by your teachers with admiration, and we are excited to celebrate you tonight. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You’ve learned, through your efforts, that you </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">need to work harder in some classes </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">than in others to earn similar grades. It’s probable that you’ve had greater interest and motivation for certain subjects over others. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So you’ve balanced motivation and investment </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to earn your grades. Life beyond school requires this, too, though with </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">fewer report cards and award ceremonies.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> As a recovering straight-A student, I would assert that achieving perfect marks in all areas of life or in “adulting,” is not only NOT a thing, it’s not even something healthy to aspire to. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> With no official grades to measure living</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, maintaining BALANCE is the true aspiration, and understanding that balance will shift is important, as well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If I </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">WERE </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">issued a</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> progress report for last week</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> it would feature a variety of achievements as well as areas for improvement in categories </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">like parenting, being a principal, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, staying organized, exercising, and being a wife, daughter, sister, and friend. That often feels like a lot to balance</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">! And I’m just going to state strongly for the record that I would NEVER sign up for the equivalent of an honors or AP class in laundry, with my motivation seriously lacking in specifics such as ironing, turning things right side out, and properly folding fitted sheets. I’d rather cook a complicated meal, or clean a bathroom. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s not realistic to expect yourself to put equal effort into every sector of your life all the time, nor can you demand exceptional performance from yourself across the board, though many of you attempt to do that now. I encourage you, instead, to apply sincere effort, and to focus on balancing what </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">needs your attention</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> and what </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">motivates you to work hard</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. During life, </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">seasons change and priorities shift.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> There will be times when excelling at your job is a primary focus. Times when studying is. Times for taking risks. If you have children, parenting will often be a main priority. And inevitably, as many of you have experienced, tending to your own or someone else’s health will take precedence. So it’s important to give yourselves grace when you can’t be and do everything you wish. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Practitioners of mindfulness and meditation will tell you that with training, </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">most people can overcome stress and provide themselves with calm and well-being using only their breath. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Deep, conscious breathing makes a difference in outlook on life--and the wonder of it is that you only need yourself, wherever you are. Wouldn’t it be useful to develop a similar reliance on yourself for your sense of accomplishment, without extrinsic rewards or recognition? It’s a good time to practice being </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">proud of yourself</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Yes, it’s a practice, and it’s not about grades or achievements others may notice. We are born with a </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">beautiful predisposition to appreciate ourselves</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Have you ever seen the look on a toddler’s face when she learns to walk? Or to jump? And clap or talk? I mean, most humans reach these milestones, but generation after generation, children continue to be SO IMPRESSED with themselves. My four-year-old regularly announces her pride in her singing and her outfits and her ideas. Toddlers aren’t likely to compare milestones with their friends in daycare, as we do when we discuss GPAs and sports stats and scroll through social media feeling subpar. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Practice impressing yourself in </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">new, simple ways</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Be proud when you don’t give up despite setbacks. When you share. When you stand up for someone or something. When you save money.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Last week, after straining my hamstring in a soccer game</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, I set out for run/walk, with a goal of a making it a couple of miles. I surprised myself by jogging, albeit slowly, the entire time, and exceeding my goal by a mile. No one watching me or checking my time and mileage would be impressed (not even my Nike app offered me a new “achievement unlocked,”)--but I was proud of myself and in a great mood all day. I find pride in myself when I </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">don’t procrastinate</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. I’m proud when I give someone my full attention and participate in a meaningful conversation. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m proud when I volunteer, and when I parallel park my van, and when I keep calm instead of freaking out.</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I feel gratitude for myself when I apologize for something I need to take accountability for. And hey, I appreciate myself when I finish folding a basket of laundry. No award ceremonies for that! So I’m glad I have myself to high five. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Regularly appreciating yourself, and forgiving your own shortcomings, creates an </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">inward glow and an outward patience and generosity</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> that helps you focus in the right ways </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">on others</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Sure that driver cut you off in traffic, but there’s another who paused to let you in. Take note of the daily commitments of people around you and the ways they invest in their jobs and in their relationships </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">without expectations for recognition</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and appreciate them. There are so many almost invisible people facilitating our paths through daily life. I recently made a customer service call to Amazon to reorder a tag for my dog that was lost during delivery, and I expected to speak to a robot. Instead I encountered an incredibly friendly and patient person who talked me through the reordering process. It felt good to tell her at the end of the call, you know what, thank you for the time you spent on my issue--and for helping me avoid losing my dog. Connecting to other humans matters. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We are learning from social media and from perpetrators of violence on school campuses that connecting meaningfully with others may matter most for our survival. And we have opportunities to connect every day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You’ve earned the award you receive this evening by connecting meaningfully with your subject, your teacher, and your school. As you go forward, continue to recognize the </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">meaningful things, however small or big, which you accomplish for yourself and others</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. Reward YOURSELF with a life of </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">appreciation and gratitude</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. And know that you, along with your teachers and the support staff of CHS, have been the meaning of this job to me. </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thank you</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
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ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-58364714276345354442018-01-08T19:26:00.001-08:002018-01-08T22:47:03.422-08:0013 Ways of Looking at 16In advance of their daughter's sixteenth birthday, friends of ours asked family members and friends to write her letters including memories, advice, and inspiration. Here's my contribution (and my favorite is #VII):<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Dear Tess,<br />
<br />
Wallace Stevens wrote his poem, “<a href="https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45236/thirteen-ways-of-looking-at-a-blackbird" target="_blank">Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird</a>” and it occurs to me that it’s like a little Instagram account (whereas William Carlos Williams’ poem “Red Wheelbarrow” is like one Insta post, and “This is Just to Say,” also by Williams, is more like an apologetic message on a friend’s FB wall—oh hey, we could compare poems to social media moments! But I digress). So here’s a moment in time, your sixteenth birthday, for which we are creating snapshots, reflections, messages on your “wall,” so to speak. I am offering you “Thirteen Ways of Looking at Sixteen.”<br />
<br />
So much love,<br />
<br />
Fer<br />
<br />
Thirteen Ways of Looking at Sixteen<br />
<br />
I<br />
Among the people at dinner that night,<br />
The most memorable ideas, references, and insights<br />
Issued from the sixteen-year-old.<br />
<br />
II<br />
I was of three minds,<br />
Like a sixteen-year-old<br />
In which resides child, teen, adult.<br />
<br />
III<br />
She, sixteen, danced in the sand, arms thrown wildly to wind and sky.<br />
It was one movement in the choreography of her life.<br />
<br />
IV<br />
A man and a woman<br />
had one.<br />
A man and a woman and a sixteen-year-old<br />
Are one.<br />
<br />
V<br />
They are all evidence of her,<br />
Words, actions, body<br />
And her slept-in bed, clothing, and acquisitions:<br />
The sixteen-year-old’s being<br />
As well as her props.<br />
<br />
VI<br />
Music from the turntable filled the room<br />
With sounds like.<br />
The limbs of the sixteen-year-old<br />
Crossed and curled and extended along the couch.<br />
Her mood<br />
Represented in her postures:<br />
Shifting landscape.<br />
<br />
VII<br />
O old folks of society,<br />
Why do you imagine hoodlums?<br />
Do you not see how the sixteen-year-old<br />
Walks the world in feet<br />
That become yours?<br />
<br />
VIII<br />
I know great minds<br />
And inventions, accomplishments, triumphs, and talents realized over lifetimes;<br />
But I feel, too,<br />
That sixteen-year-olds influence<br />
What I know and believe and love.<br />
<br />
IX<br />
When the sixteen-year-old drove out of sight,<br />
It marked one edge<br />
Of the polygon of independence.<br />
<br />
X<br />
At the sight of sixteen-year-olds<br />
Delighting in their own company,<br />
Even the most cynical observers<br />
Gaze with longing and approval.<br />
<br />
XI<br />
I dreamed I was late to class<br />
And dashing without progress.<br />
Many times, fear grips my slumber,<br />
When I am convinced<br />
I’ve forgotten my chemistry homework<br />
At sixteen.<br />
<br />
XII<br />
Time is flowing.<br />
The sixteen-year-old is thriving.<br />
<br />
XIII<br />
She was young and she was old.<br />
She was child and she was adult.<br />
The sixteen-year-old was<br />
Nevertheless always Tess.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-45462235210571225552017-06-16T15:01:00.000-07:002017-06-16T15:43:28.048-07:00Commencement Speech 2017<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Class of 2017<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">I had the privilege of teaching a poetry lesson in some of your
English classes in the fall. We read a poem by William Carlos Williams,
called "The Red Wheelbarrow": <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It reads, simply: <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">so much depends</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">upon</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">a red wheel</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">barrow</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">glazed with rain</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">water</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">beside the white</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">chickens</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">We talked about how perhaps this was the first
Instagram poem--a simple image, zoom on the rain drops, with a filter that
highlights the white chickens. I’m thinking this particular poem would attract
a lot of likes, as well as what the hecks.</span><span style="font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">But we discussed that maybe this poem wasn't truly about the
dependability of a wheelbarrow, or how important rain water is to a farm,
or about chickens laying eggs for breakfast. Maybe this poem was
just about a moment. A moment as beautiful and momentous in its own way
as a graduation, a birth, a marriage. Made memorable, perhaps, because
the poet stopped to notice, downloading the image to memory and then
translating it into verse.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">It's tempting, students, to proclaim that the last four years were
a blur, and for you, parents, to feel like it was only yesterday you
were holding their hands to cross the street. But our lives
are series of wheelbarrow moments punctuated by momentous events, like
tonight. In class that day I asked you to recall a moment in your
recent lives upon which so much seemed to depend. One of you
described driving over the bridge to school that morning with your
sister. It was sunny, and you were having a great conversation, getting
along. I think we all found that moment relatable. You'll surely remember
tonight, but the sweetest memories are likely similar episodes of
connections, deep talks with loved ones, random trips with friends. Most wheelbarrow moments are times
we are in the company of people we adore or the wonder of nature.
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">My toddler actually stops to smell the roses when
she and I take the dog for a walk. To her, so much depends on the
things she notices and celebrates and points out--spikes on a cactus, a
colorful rock, the snail painstakingly crossing the path. She stops
to look at me and say, <i>I love spending
time with you, Mom.</i> No selfie properly captures that wheelbarrow
moment, and there's a chance I could miss it if I’m too busy to go for a walk or looking
at my phone. Paying attention to her is what makes it different. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">So I’m
suggesting we more often swap selfies for "sensies"--times you
observe keenly, listen carefully, feel deeply, taste mindfully, and breathe in
the smells. Exalt in the moments and the characters sharing
them with you—recognize the sonder, if you will. In just a few
of my wheelbarrow moments with you, so much depended upon pancakes from a
George Foreman grill, 185 doctors walking into a bar, Jamaican curry recipes, seafoam
perfectly captured in a painting, and sitting the bench in the faculty
basketball game. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Before you fly away from this place you’ve shared, reflect on some
of those wonderful moments together. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;">Thank you, Class of 2017, for all the moments culminating in this graduation. <o:p></o:p></span>ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-63037598081202523992017-06-11T21:09:00.000-07:002017-06-11T21:29:52.421-07:00Keep Moving Forward <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMNHS0umFUI2XdnB2oDkFDkHuSWTIdeB6xeKSAvcjyKwJW1TnSoYVDoi0Y7LBkbOz1IXjca05HPp5GdGmNHkLkhth37DhX4KSdyt52dOEEJZuPv51LmFQp2njLRzvzIC4L0oNedTTjVTde/s1600/FullSizeRender+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="992" data-original-width="750" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMNHS0umFUI2XdnB2oDkFDkHuSWTIdeB6xeKSAvcjyKwJW1TnSoYVDoi0Y7LBkbOz1IXjca05HPp5GdGmNHkLkhth37DhX4KSdyt52dOEEJZuPv51LmFQp2njLRzvzIC4L0oNedTTjVTde/s320/FullSizeRender+%25281%2529.jpg" width="241" /></a><br />
<br />
A month ago at our school district's meeting of the Board of Trustees, our teacher's union president presented on various clubs our teachers sponsor at our elementary, middle, and high school campuses. She showed photos of the students and teachers in action, building robots, playing board games and bonding at lunch, providing community service, and jogging. The elementary school running club was the one that stuck with me, though; they meet in the mornings before school with the simple goal to "keep moving forward for 30 minutes." <br />
<br />
I love this idea of focusing energy positively for a discrete period of time. It seems so doable. <br />
<br />
But truth is, in my non-working hours the past month or more, I've had trouble moving forward. Household chores, social events, exercise--even my own soccer games--have felt undesirable and inordinately challenging. Depression does that. Anxiety ups the ante.<br />
<br />
I haven't gone running in a couple weeks. Running is a solo venture, and it requires my own motivation. I easily recall a few years ago, when I attempted to jog in the nadir of my post-partum depression and I ran/walked and cried, fantasizing about lying down on the side of the road and just staying there. <br />
<br />
Busy weekends and weekdays have provided ample excuses for not even trying to venture forth. Nervous and anxious energy, coupled with an increased resting heart rate and blood pressure, made it seem safer to Just Not.<br />
<br />
But this morning we would arrive early for Big Sis's soccer game. And I felt like running. So I wore sweats and running shoes and low expectations. I gave myself plenty of outs.<br />
<br />
Big Sis's soccer tournament was at a park on a big block. I could just run around that block. One mile, max. So I started out slowly. I hit half a mile, satisfied that to get back to our parking spot would be about one mile, a distance that I could nod at. I kept going. And all the way around the block turned out to be 1.5 miles. <i>Do it one more time</i>, I urged myself when I was back at the start. And I felt like it.<br />
<br />
Not all runs are equal: I've run marathons and logged qualifying times. I've run cross country races and half marathons. I've run fast and free and jubilantly. Today I ran a slow 5K by myself on suburban streets, cautiously, but with increasing speed and confidence. I didn't break any of my own records and I impressed no one but myself. But my little run today made all of today so much better. I felt strong and accomplished, and then unusually normal later today, without even noticing. <br />
<br />
Tonight at dinner, instead of sharing The Best Part of Our Day, we told each other what made us each most proud today. Big Sis, who scored a goal in one of today's tournament games which ended with her team as champions, shared that welcoming a new teammate and befriending her made her most proud of herself. I talked about my little run. <br />
<br />
Pride is relative, we are reminded. The moments of which we are most proud don't have to be fastest times, goals, or championships or awards. They're best when they're acknowledgements of when we are reaching outside or beyond or despite ourselves or the doubt of others. <br />
<br />
I won't fit in a run tomorrow morning. It's Monday and I have carpool and a parent meeting in the office first thing and then Senior Awards and a long to-do list in between. I hope to draft off yesterday and feel good about myself but I know it's not that simple. Nevertheless, I have proof it's possible and within reach of running shoes. But I'm not going to pressure myself.<br />
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In the meantime, I will keep on moving forward for the next five minutes. Or four or three or two or one. <i>At least. </i><br />
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<br />ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-54890535835849604402017-06-04T20:16:00.000-07:002019-11-16T16:36:09.081-08:00What My Depression Feels Like<div style="background-color: white; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">Depression first revisits like a sternly helpful Auntie, encouraging me to take that afternoon nap because I work so hard and there's no harm and the housework will wait. At the same time she admonishes me like so many Internet articles to take stock of my gratitudes and acknowledge so many who enduring real, life-threatening challenges. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">And so I rise, and I do. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">It works, for a while. I celebrate surges of energy and well-being which bring warm golden filters to minutes and hours. I ascribe malaise and exhaustion to so many long work days, typical for this time of year. And then I'm crying, which is hardly notable because I'm a crier since forever; I cry more when I'm premenstrual, so that's a convenient correlation. a get teary because three stressors in a row, and because you ask me how I'm doing, and because you give me a hug. And then I'm crying when I'm alone and I'm crying in the car and the shower and I'm crying for no reason other than the fact that depression has made its turn into more than a state of mind; it has invaded my body like an all-over ache. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">I don't even want wine. </span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">I don't want cheese or chocolate.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">Depression becomes a drone with x-ray vision that hovers over my household, taking inventory of every drawer and closet and cupboard, asking why I own so many things and asking when I will take charge of them, and asking how I can possibly manage the abstract stuff when I hardly have control of all that is material. Depression points out that my children will inherit and have to clean out these drawers. Depression wonders if I'm a hoarder, and Depression thinks it's an appropriate question to ask. I have to agree.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">Depression probes my heart like an MRI and knows I'm distracted and distant and impatient and counts the times I've let my children down, cataloging missed opportunities and sharp words. Depression, with its sidekick Anxiety, wakes me up at 2 or 3 AM and interrogates me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">Depression is a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat and dry red eyes after so much sobbing. At some point no platitudes, no encouragement nor reassurance, no reminders of all I have, no pep talks, no faith, and no ultimata can lift my limbs or change the tide of overwhelm which presses on my chest and immobilizes me. This is the advent of the breaking point, the nervous breakdown if you will, the hysteria, the really hot mess, the point at which something has to happen and it's not going to be talk therapy or yoga or a nice long walk or run. It's not coffee with a friend or a massage or girls' night out. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">I recall the last time I felt this way, almost four years ago when I had an infant. I watch in admiration and relief as my capable now-toddler dresses herself and straps herself into her carseat. She exerts so much effort I don't presently have. I remember that my former self, shortly after feeling like I presently do, left work in the middle of a very normal day to go crawl into bed because I Just Could Not Even. I Just Could Not Even be too proud to walk away from my job, and into bed. Crawling into bed was all I <i>could</i> do. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">So I know this is a pivotal point, that to continue on is to go deeper down, and I'm afraid. Something has to happen, and instead of ignoring my sister's call, I answer, and I cry unabashedly. I know what's next after that, and then my father is on the phone. That he takes charge is reassuring and but my dependency on him in this moment is also panic inducing. </span><i style="color: #454545; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe WP', Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif, serif, EmojiFont; font-size: 15px;">Someday my children might feel this way and need me, too, </i><span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">is painful to imagine.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Depression means every simple kindness brings an overwhelming rush of gratitude, like I feel for the doctor who calls me back after I hang up on the weekend office voicemail message. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Her voice is calm and reassuring and patient. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">She asks me if I am feeling sad. Yes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">She asks if I am feeling hopeless. Yes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">I explain that I had a significant <a disabled="true" href="http://mywholelifeisonthetipofmytongue.blogspot.com/2013/09/too-blessed-to-be-stressed.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">post-partum depression almost four years ago</a> and that I am struggling again.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">She asks if I am having thoughts of harming myself. "Not serious," I share. </span><i style="color: #454545; font-family: wf_segoe-ui_normal, 'Segoe UI', 'Segoe WP', Tahoma, Arial, sans-serif, serif, EmojiFont; font-size: 15px;">But I want to disappear</i><span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">, I admit to myself. </span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">She will call in a prescription, </span></span><span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">the medication that was once the flashlight to guide me through darkest parts of the tunnel. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont"; font-size: 15px;">Depression is a sea that temporarily parts with the tangible relief of enacting a solution.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">I want the medication to work before I take it, but it doesn't. My whole day and every part feels like too much, but we've got stuff to do, soccer games and lunch and drives on the freeway back and forth. I rally. Depression points to the parents on the sidelines, normal people chatting about normal things, not choking back tears, not hiding behind sunglasses and afraid to answer, "How are you?"<i> </i>I observe them all, remembering a time as a child when I had the flu and couldn't remember what my body felt like when it didn't hurt. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Depression and Anxiety love way-too early mornings, buzzing me awake with scrolling to-do lists and dread. My limbs tingle, my heart pounds, and my stomach reacts to each new reminder like a loop or turn on a roller coaster. I count backward from 100. Too quickly. By twos, then. I breathe. I want to stay in bed. I imagine calling in sick. I weigh the costs and benefits. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">I always get up. But I force it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Depression yields to busy work days. I act like Capable Me, surprising myself, responding attentively and ticking through tasks. Stopping to analyze my head and body invites panic, so I persevere. I avoid enumerating the rituals I must tend to at home, where my bed beckons: pick up children. Make dinner. Clean kitchen. Run baths. Read books. Ask questions. Be present. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br />Each day I feel a few more solid moments, a little more normalcy. I want the medicine to work so badly I might be willing it to, but I'll accept a placebo effect, and I feel like the hazy filter applied in different degrees to my Instagram photos is relegated more and more to the edges. Medication provides the energy for next phases of healing: therapy and exercise and other healthy practices which get sidelined during duress. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">I went off my medication without incident about a year and a half ago, after two-and-a-half years of prescription since my post-partum depression settled in. I could blame that depression on hormones, while oddly grateful for an <a disabled="true" href="http://mywholelifeisonthetipofmytongue.blogspot.com/2014/05/happy-to-have-happy-mothers-day.html" rel="noopener noreferrer" tabindex="-1" target="_blank">experience which deepened my empathy</a> for those who suffer mental illness.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Now a deeper acknowledgment, a recognition of various symptoms signs over the past year, and a surrender to my own reality and fragility: </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">I struggle with mental illness. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Maybe someday I will refer to that struggle in past tense, but I no longer view that as an admirable goal. I simply don't want to feel as I have, to live on the outskirts of deep despondence, and I am grateful for defenses and offenses against it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , "segoe ui" , "segoe wp" , "tahoma" , "arial" , sans-serif , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-size: 15px;">Grateful for moments of joy and bliss. Grateful for tools to more ably face life's sadnesses and struggles. </span></span></div>
ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-28815157301359398042016-06-14T09:41:00.002-07:002016-06-14T09:48:58.613-07:00All About My Parents<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Tootsie goes to a wonderful, loving, nurturing preschool, where relationships, responsibility, play, and imagination are emphasized--the<a href="http://mywholelifeisonthetipofmytongue.blogspot.com/2011/01/race-to-nowhere-on-choosing-route-and.html" target="_blank"> same preschool her big sisters attended</a> seemingly long ago. </div>
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The teachers listen carefully to the little people and the important (hilarious) things they say, often recording them for posterity. </div>
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We were treated to a Parents' Day celebration on Sunday, where we were presented with cards from our kiddos; here's Tootsie's take on her Mom and Dad: </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHaHjrYzD3eRJwmjcFCmRo4aFFC0LheYs9PPYTkzOJmCc1PtjU0jY8L3e7zgnGkdYH0lNuSM-o2Q9ugfofaQVOP5WkWs8I8_DXolBNezWoX7cYPWT8kiG47le4kSAFHQDicBFuKCEtpvz1/s1600/All+About+My+Parents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHaHjrYzD3eRJwmjcFCmRo4aFFC0LheYs9PPYTkzOJmCc1PtjU0jY8L3e7zgnGkdYH0lNuSM-o2Q9ugfofaQVOP5WkWs8I8_DXolBNezWoX7cYPWT8kiG47le4kSAFHQDicBFuKCEtpvz1/s400/All+About+My+Parents.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Some points of confirmation and clarification:<br />
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I <i>do </i>work with my friends.<br />
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Husband <i>does </i>work at da yacht club.<br />
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Husband does NOT enjoy letting the dog out to pee.<br />
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Husband and I did not meet at school, though we did attend the same high school.<br />
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Husband <i>does </i>like syrup, not usually on meatballs. <br />
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We do love our children when they go to school. Apparently this is a likable trait. <br />
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<br />ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-43903554876971393092016-06-10T14:50:00.001-07:002016-06-10T14:50:46.816-07:00HOW: Commencement Speech 2016I had the honor of hosting my third commencement as high school principal, and here are the words I shared with our graduates and guests:<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Now, Class of 2016:<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">What are you going to do with your lives? What are
you going to do next? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">These are questions you’ll both ask yourself as well as be
asked (too often). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">Tonight instead, I want to focus you on <b><i>how</i></b>
you’re going to live. And “HOW” is a word worth writing on your mirror,
because the questions I’m going to ask are ones you will answer every day <b>whether you think about them or not</b>.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">So <b>much</b> is in
the <b><i>how</i></b>.
How will you greet yourself each morning? How will you look
yourself in the eye? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you shave?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you take care of yourself? How will you
nourish your body? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you maximize your strengths? How will you
improve?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you ask for what you need? How you will you
ask for help? How will you know when you need to?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you apologize? How will you admit when you
are wrong? How will you ask for forgiveness?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you forgive yourself?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you ask that difficult question? How will
you say no? How will you tell the truth? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you step up, speak up, stand up? How will
you protest? How will you advocate? How will you earn and
demonstrate respect?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you greet your neighbor? How will you pass strangers
on the street or in cars on the freeway?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you respond when someone asks you for money? Or for food? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you make people laugh? How will you make
others comfortable?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you express your frustration? How will you
write that email? How will you update, post, tweet, and comment?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you talk with people? How will you talk <i>about</i>
them?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you respect others’ bodies and their rights?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you love? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you create a family? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you break up? How will you make up?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you listen? How will you spend your time?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you face disappointment? How will you
sacrifice?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you help? How will you express gratitude?
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you treat your environment? How will you
leave the places you pass through? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you say goodbye? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you start fresh? How will you prepare?
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you let go? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you stay in touch?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;">How will you love this life? </span><span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">How will you be?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Class of 2016, your words and
actions will be the answers to these questions.
Open yourself to new teachers, models, and fellow passengers who will
help guide your way.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">How have you left us? </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">With clean water, flag football, and enduring
spirit.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now, how will I leave <i>you</i>? </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br /></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">With gratitude for your creativity,
generosity, long conversations, and the love we shared between us. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It is my honor now to introduce your senior
class president...</span></b>ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-79782642180267690502015-11-29T22:35:00.000-08:002015-11-29T22:50:55.501-08:00List: 2015 Thanksgiving GratitudesMy multiple, ample, excessive cups runneth over. I am pausing to appreciate the bounty.<br />
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<b><i>Gratitudes:</i></b></div>
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1. <b>My husband </b>with infinite patience for my job and its demands, as well as my habits... He's a rare find, this man, this father, this more-than-co-partner. He inspires me with his patience, awareness of local and global issues, and earnest desire to teach, guide, and love our girls and pets. <br />
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2. <b>My daughters</b>, who in their own unique ways give to their world, to their family, and to me. As they and I grow older, I more deeply recognize how they reflect and gently guide me to be their better model and supporter. Big Sis has discipline and drive as well as creativity and tenderness for family. Middle Sis celebrates a joie de vivre (goofiness) that is contagious, and a natural penchant for taking care of younger children. Tootsie is a force of nature, survivor of minor mishaps, talented copycat, and keen observer of all that occurs around her. Thank goodness she, our last, is a snuggler, too.<br />
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3. <b>My parents</b> who are <i>here</i> and available for great conversation, family meals, childcare, professional mentorship, cheerleading, appropriate course corrections, financial assistance, grandparental cheerleading and support, and a safe place where we can flock.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">4. <b>Extended family and friends</b> who are wise and honest as well as forgiving and loyal and generous, and who step in, pick up our kids, create cousin company and aunt and uncle admiration, offer guidance, make us laugh, reassure, invite us over as well as <i>come</i> over, and support us unconditionally through life's mishaps.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">5. <b>My job</b>, which affords me the opportunity to bask every day in the company of people who exemplify what's possible: Inspiring, creative, selfless professionals dedicated to enriching young people's minds and souls; and teenagers who are hilarious, infinitely intelligent, bursting with energy and potential, generous, insightful, wise beyond their years, and daily reminders that we adults don't know or control everything. Working in a public school is real work with real people and real rewards, and I'm grateful that the days that await me are full of problem solving, dreaming, teaching and learning, and evidence of what matters. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">6. <b>Our neighborhood</b> of community givers, activists, artists, business owners, non-profit supporters, hard workers, volunteers, and dreamers. How I love this place we've invested in and where we've bought two homes. Our environment boasts canyons, parks, playgrounds, trails, craftsman homes, hills, narrow streets, old trees, raccoons, coyotes, opossum, skunk, hawks, squirrels, rabbits, and tumbleweeds. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">7. <b>Our daughters' schools</b>: We are in our tenth year of appreciating the play-oriented, multi-age, loving preschool which has helped raise our girls. Middle Sis is attending our incredible neighborhood elementary school with its loyal and passionate teachers, tireless parent and community volunteers, and unparalleled performing arts, garden, and enrichment programs. Big Sis attends a large urban middle school where her teachers and peers, who represent true international diversity, inspire her. We love that these schools give awards for qualities and attributes versus achievements, and invite us to both shadow and participate in our kids' daily educational experiences. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">8. <b>My health and the health of my loved ones</b>, which I do not take for granted. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">9. <b>Our house</b>, which has had to compete with our cozy first home, but which has won me over with its peace and quiet, windows, space, views, safe cul de sac for Big Wheel races and skateboarding, and room for guests and gatherings. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">10. <b>Human tenderness</b>: One of life's pleasures is noticing the sweet spots, when siblings love on one another, when teammates share a victory or poignant loss, when acts of kindness happen spontaneously out there in the world. I feel like I am often front row for those beautiful moments which make living worth it and humanity make sense. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><b><i> Additional Gratitudes:</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">1. <b>Good books, good art, and good music</b>. I am so fortunate to know people who create all three, and my early mornings and late evenings rely on their accessibility and power to deepen my sense of my own existence. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">2. <b>Those who "let it go."</b> Ain't got time to hold on to grudges, dwell on disturbances, and generally make big deals. I am increasingly grateful for and drawn to people who keep moving forward, focused on solutions, and with a better, peaceful world in mind. (After venting over a pint or glass). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">3. <b>Our coffeemaker with a timer</b> (and the guy who loads it each evening). My morning cup of coffee, secured before my morning pee, is an indulgence I appreciate EVERY DAY. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">4. <b>My iPa</b></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><b>d</b>: Its lit screen has allowed me to read with the lights off while our baby/toddler slumbers beside me. My books, my music, articles, photos, Facebook...all here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">5. <b>Running</b>. Also known as jogging, limping, leaping, stumbling...we'll take it all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">6. <b>Youth</b> <b>Soccer</b>: Our daughters play a lot of soccer and we spend a lot of time at games. But the sidelines are where we've met amazing families and learned a few things about the culture of our neighborhood, kids' sports, and parenting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">7. <b>Beautiful things and places</b>: The moon, my friend's living room, beach rocks at sunset, cloudscapes, that necklace, twinkling lights, flowers, architecture, fonts, the pattern on that fabric, your haircut, a garden. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">8. <b>Food</b>: I'm fortunate to have a brother who is a chef, a daughter who is a foodie, and a CSA box full of fresh vegetables each week. I love cooking; I love combining flavors; I love the privilege of eating something different every day. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">9. <b> Comfy clothes</b>. The older I get, the more I appreciate an outfit comparable to mashed potatoes. Soft, warm, unobtrusive, dependable, goes with anything.</span><br />
10. <b>Funny stuff</b>: jokes, memes, videos, stories, our toddler, your mishap, Jimmy Fallon, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert...it's such a serious place, this world. Cats afraid of cucumbers can make it all okay. </div>
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ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-18648738023078738882015-11-08T13:10:00.001-08:002015-11-08T13:27:05.754-08:00List: Material (Garage Sale) GirlYou know how there are are those items you buy in the grocery store Every Single Time, thinking somehow you've run out, when you're forever in excess? It's like you have an inexplicable internal fear of ever being without these (maybe-not-even) staples? FYI, feel free to stop by our house for lentils, quinoa, brown sugar, and cumin powder, as I may need to borrow the maple syrup, ranch dressing, and soap dispenser refill we are always forgetting to buy. <div><br></div><div>I'll own up front that I appear to have an inherited case of "the saves" (because I may need it! For something! Like a project!), which we will not call hoarding for now. But I feel I live in a perpetually conflicting state of mostly excess and sometimes inexplicable deficit (often of the things we arguably need, like milk). </div><div><br></div><div>So someone like me has no business shopping on online garage sale sites, unless the products for sale are gently used milk, bread, and toilet paper. But in a free moment, and to the dismay of my husband, I just love to browse the stuff others no longer want. And I've figured out I'm quick with the "me me I want!" finger if you're offering the following items which WE DO NOT NEED:</div><div><br></div><div>1. <b>Patio furniture</b>. Example: Lounge swing recently purchased, not yet assembled. Rationale: we have a big deck. Rationale: it's a good deal, and patio furniture full price is expensive! Rationale: life outside is good, and it will be better with this item. </div><div>2. <b>Throw pillows</b>. Example: Blue and beige pillows passed on to me by a friend who recognizes my weakness. <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Rationale: they're a cheap way to "redecorate." Rationale: they're like art, sorta!</span></div><div>3. <b>Craft supplies</b>. Example: Box of assorted free stickers. Rationale: <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">because we may need them! For something! Like a project!</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">4. <b>End and bedside tables</b>. Example: Antique drop-leaf table. Rationale: at one point, we could use a few of these. Rationale: good end tables are useful, satisfying to own!</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">5. <b>Kids' items</b>. Example: Recently acquired push trike. Rationale: this serves a purpose right now, and will enrich and broaden my child's experiences. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Meanwhile, I have one daughter who snatches up and uses any free cardboard in our house, and has a funky obsession with binders. I think we come by it honestly (genetically), but far be it from me to point any fingers at the grandma who kept canned food in the trunk of her car Just In Case. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What are <i>your</i> excesses and weaknesses?</span></div>ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-69070111432908995922015-10-07T21:27:00.001-07:002015-11-29T21:27:17.129-08:00If (Middle Sis) Were in Charge of the WorldA poem written by our now-fourth-grader last year (pulled out of the backpack today??)<br>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">If I were in charge of the world I'd cancel</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Robbery, killing, war, and smoking drugs. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">If I were in charge of the world there'd be </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Book Clubs in every school, you would only </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">have medicine drugs, and at all schools you'd</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">have hour long recess and lunches.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">If I were in charge of the world you wouldn't</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">have pain. You wouldn't have meanness. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You wouldn't have cancer or hunger. You</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">wouldn't even have homeless people. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">If I were in charge of the world</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">A house could transform into a giant hot tub. All</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">people would be nice. And a person who sometimes forgot </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">to sleep and sometimes forgot to brush their hair would still</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">be allowed to be in charge of the world!</span></i></div>
<br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx-K-Yr_dg1K2V2xadgrnpLBEBhBXuJGjsVrDmRzB-YWsU5w5jtkBLKpewJmUVTrlFJ2EiMf5Ybg1LB8A8OQMCjVm5PBgQGIcr9q3qGoCwFmbFPCE11f9_G0V0JgsiL5OP2zpOe-OvcKwA/s640/blogger-image--642991709.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx-K-Yr_dg1K2V2xadgrnpLBEBhBXuJGjsVrDmRzB-YWsU5w5jtkBLKpewJmUVTrlFJ2EiMf5Ybg1LB8A8OQMCjVm5PBgQGIcr9q3qGoCwFmbFPCE11f9_G0V0JgsiL5OP2zpOe-OvcKwA/s640/blogger-image--642991709.jpg"></a></div>ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-80470643451927953252015-09-07T22:36:00.001-07:002015-09-07T22:36:28.184-07:00'Twas the Night Before School...<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">'Twas the night before school, when all through the house</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">All the creatures were stirring (maybe even a louse...)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">The backpacks were lined up at the front door with care,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">In hopes that there'd be time in the morning for hair;</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">When the children were finally tucked into beds,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">and visions of field trips danced in their heads;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">and Mamma with her iPad, and I with a nightcap,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">fondly thinking of preschool and its time for a nap,</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Then out of the computer there arose such a clatter,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Away to the keyboard I flew like a flash,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Tore open the laptop, hoping it wouldn't crash.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">The glint of the screen and its pixelly glow,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Gave a greenish lustre to my complexion below,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">But an email, a tweet, and Facebook update (oh dear)</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">With a flick of the cursor, so lively and quick,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I knew in a moment that I would be sick.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">More rapid than eagles the appointments they came,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Soccer, Scouts, Piano, Fundraisers, you name it--the same!</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">"Now, HOMEWORK! now, MEETINGS! now, PRACTICE and TESTS!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">On, VOMIT! on VAXES! on UNIFORMS and FESTS!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">To the top of the trash pile! Let's hide from our wall!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Now delete away! delete away! delete away all!"</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">So up to the house-top my anxiety it flew,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">With inbox full of obligations, and requests for donations too.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">And then, in a twinkling, I heard in my head</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">The refrain and the theme of each good book I've read.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">As I drew in my hand from the keyboard and phone,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I remembered my teachers, mostly good to the bone.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">She was better dressed than her students, from foot to her head,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">And her encouragement outlasts her; so strong in her stead.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">He taught with humility; lessons a knack</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">a Renaissance man, of all trades he was Jack.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">His eyes -- how they twinkled! His exams they were scary!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">To be late or miss homework, you had best be quite wary!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">But her thoughts on the Greeks follow where'er I go;</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">The stump of a yardstick he held tight in his paw,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">'Twas a rifle or protest sign, and we followed with awe;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">He had a kind face but fire in his belly,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">His sermons on life made us turn off the telly.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">She was chubby and plump, and quite right for her role, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">We cherished each day with her sweet kindly soul.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">While a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Was a sign that some pranking was not far ahead...</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">And filled all our notebooks; and turned with a smirk,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">And laying his finger aside of his nose,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">He reminded us daily that so school, it goes...</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">So I shut down my laptop, and logged off my Twitter,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">and resolved that this year, I wouldn't be bitter.</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">For despite all the things that annually we fear, </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">It's likely that this will be one AMAZING SCHOOL YEAR!</span></span>ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-62290300326258086402015-06-29T23:19:00.001-07:002015-06-29T23:25:58.715-07:00Eagle Ey<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mOAR_44PUeM/VZIkpEV2mqI/AAAAAAAAGs0/OJ_WdA7E-qg/s1600/15%2B-%2B1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mOAR_44PUeM/VZIkpEV2mqI/AAAAAAAAGs0/OJ_WdA7E-qg/s320/15%2B-%2B1" width="185" /></a></div>
Our Tootsie earned herself a new nickname last weekend, "Trauma, Eagle Ey."<br />
<br />
Tootsie trained her Eagle Ey on a dog at Concert in the Park on Saturday, and when she reached out to pet him, he reacted with animal instincts. To make a long story short (and to avoid the accompanying "control your child vs. control your pet" debate), I'll simply share that Tootsie required some exploratory surgery to rule out vascular damage and to stitch up wounds on her head and neck. She has minor (unnoticeable to the untrained eye) nerve damage to her face, but she's otherwise fine, acting like a typical toddler, alternately charming and defiant to her doctors and nurses and Mom and Dad. We remain in the hospital only to get comfortable with the PICC line and antibiotic infusions we will take on after discharge. <br />
<br />
Every event in the hospital leaves us bowing with gratitude for how fortunate we are: <i>Only one more inch to the right, and then...only one centimeter deeper bite, and it could have been...</i><br />
<br />
We are thankful.<br />
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We are scheduled to leave for Boston and Maine on July 14. Need I mention that Tootsie got close to hijacking another Boston/Maine trip? <i>Geez!</i> I should probably knock wood until we are on the flight there...and BACK, as planned.<br />
<br />
So here I am <i>again</i>, rooming in the hospital under unusual circumstances with my third baby. <i>This</i> time, though, she's mobile. <i>This</i> time, I'm not allowed to leave the room unattended. <i>Last</i> time the two of us were confined to the hospital, she was a baby in a bassinet. I could leave her there for an hour in the care of her nurse and venture forth into the sunshine. <i>This</i> time, the one time I defied the nurse and went to the in-room bathroom without putting her bed's side rails up, she bailed out, stretching her IV cords to painful limits. <i>Last</i> time, each moment I breastfed her I was triumphant that my preemie was latching on and taking advantage of my rich bounty. <i>This</i> time, I'm wondering how we got to almost-two-years-old still breastfeeding. <i>AFTER THIS,</i> I swear, <i>WE ARE WEANING! </i><br />
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<i>Not</i> unlike last time, I'm at peace with our present and future. Once the paramedics arrived at the park and assured me our baby would live, I figured we could handle the rest.<br />
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So our two greatest challenges on the current horizon appear to be: 1) helping her kick her popsicle habit (averaging upwards of four a day plus lollipops), and 2) reaching consensus on a hairdo strategy (she's currently rocking the Rihanna).<br />
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Meanwhile, in typical Tootsie fashion, she's commanding the attention of the floor by doing laps in a push tricycle while declaring, "Ooooh; I like this!" and showing off how she administers her own oral meds via syringe. She's also seizing the opportunity to potty train herself. Why not?<br />
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In the ER at Children's Hospital, before formal names are established, patients are given "trauma names," established by alphabet much like hurricanes. Our Tootsie is "Eagle Ey" on my bracelet and hers. Which is just a new moniker for the same indomitable spirit which inspires us.<br />
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<i>Hearty thanks to all those community members, neighbors, and friends who came to Tootsie's aid at the concert and who have provided support for all of us since. </i><br />
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<i>And we send our healing energy to the dog's owners, who were devastated by the events, and as we can only imagine, feeling helpless and hoping for the best. We assure you we are well. </i>ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-3656180448835108492015-06-12T21:28:00.000-07:002015-06-12T21:37:31.618-07:00CHS Graduation: a Tribute to Family<br />
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<span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"><i>My graduation address to the Class of 2015 feels especially poignant as I mourn the passing of a role model and friend from the Class of 1987 and feel closer than ever to friends from my own Class of 1989.</i></span></div>
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<span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">Graduates, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">many </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">have </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">been a </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">part </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the Islander Family </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">for </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">four </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">years. </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">For </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">some </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">it </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">has </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">only </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">been a </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">few months. </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">But tonight </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">will </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">be invited </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to join </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">our fifty-</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">year graduates </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in a family </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of Islander alumni </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the past, present, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and future </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of Coronado </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">High S</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">chool graduates </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">which stretches </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">back 100 </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">years. Placing yourself </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">on a continuum </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of a century </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of events </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">people </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">can </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">make </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">you feel </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">as insignificant </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">as a moment </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">in </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">time, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">or </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">it </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">can </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">make </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">you feel </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">like </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">you belong.</span></div>
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<span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><br class="zw-br" /></span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">You </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">will </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">always </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">be a </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">part </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the Islander Family, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">but I </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">want </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to remind </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">other families </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you forged </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">at Coronado H</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">igh S</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">chool </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and beyond </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">its walls </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">this </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">year. </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">Those families </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">have sustained </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">they </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">are </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">what </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">must seek </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">out </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">as </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you move </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">on beyond </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">this </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">place.</span></div>
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<span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">A family </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">can </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">form </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">over </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the course </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of a century </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">or </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">time </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">an elevator </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">is </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">out </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of order. F</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">amilies grow </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">as a result </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">being </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">same </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">place </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">with </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">same </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">people (</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">same appetite) week </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and week </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">out</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">. I'm thinking </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">of Bagels </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">and Bibles. I'm thinking </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">of </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">Water Polo Waffle Wednesdays. I'm thinking </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">of Dessert </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">Days </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">in Woodshop and Calculus.</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"> You've grown families </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">your spots </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">on </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the quad </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">at break, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">at Starbucks </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">before </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">school, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and astride </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">your surf </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">or skateboard. </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">In </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">that E period class, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">CoSA</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"> carpool, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">at </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">that review session.</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"> </span></div>
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<span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">Chances </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">are </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">most </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">are </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">not taking members </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">your Islander Family </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">or real family </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">along </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">with </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">on </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">your </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">next adventures, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">so </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">be </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">on </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the lookout </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">for </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">new ones. You’ll </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">find </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">them </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">some expected places: </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">your dorm, apartment building, library, dining hall, coffee shop, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">on teams, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">in </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">your classes </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">and workplace</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">. </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">But there’s wonderful reassurance </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the familiar faces </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">find </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in less likely places…the clerk </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">who seems </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">always </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">be </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">there </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">when you're checking </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">out. </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">The runners, walkers, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">or bikers </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">who travel </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">your </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">same path.</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">The bird </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and squirrel outside </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">your window </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">each morning. You’ll </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">form</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"> families </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">with</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">people </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">who share </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">your faith </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">or </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">who share </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">your struggle.</span></div>
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<span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">Coronado H</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">igh S</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">chool alumni create a </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">home </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">for </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">one </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">another </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">by meeting annually </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">on </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the eve </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the Fourth </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of July </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">an </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">all-</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">school reunion. </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">Year </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">after </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">year </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and decade </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">after decade, 50-</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">year </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">graduates</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"> flock </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">back </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the island</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">for </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">our ceremony</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">. </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">Our campus, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">even </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">if </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the buildings aren’t </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">same </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">as </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">when </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">were </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">here, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">will </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">still </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">belong</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you. </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">Your classmates dedicated a memorial </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">all fallen Islanders, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the Rock </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the courts </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and fields </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and stages, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">that piece </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">of pavement </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">where </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you daily met </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">your friends </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">here </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">at CHS, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">will </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">always </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">be yours.</span></div>
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<span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">So </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the advice I </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">want </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to leave </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">with </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">is </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">continue </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">actively </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">form </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">new families, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">even fleeting ones, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">by making eye contact, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">by saying hello </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">good morning, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">by </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">high-fiving, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">by hugging, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">by acknowledging </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">that you're sharing </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">same space </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">for a similar experience </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">as someone else, whether </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">it's </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in traffic </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">or </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">in a doctor’s office, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">or </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">at a concert </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">or graduation </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">or grief group. </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">These connections </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">are </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">what </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">make </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">us less alone </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">are </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">what makes </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">us </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">want </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">be</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;"> </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">keep </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt; font-weight: bold;">being</span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">.</span></div>
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<span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">I love </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">you, </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">my Islander sisters </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">and brothers. Don’t forget </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">come </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">home </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">to </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">us </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">for </span><span class="zw-portion" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 14pt;">the holidays. </span></div>
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ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-3318531828561052072015-02-07T21:30:00.002-08:002015-02-08T13:31:04.871-08:00Live Like You're Hosting an Exchange StudentLast week we hosted a Chinese teacher and student in our home as part of an exchange sponsored by Big Sis's International Baccalaureate middle school. We learned about the exchange only a week before, and it seemed like there were one hundred reasons to say <i><strike>are you kidding me</strike> no, we do not need this in our lives right now</i>, including that the visit was falling on a week of major events at my school (annual Strategic Planning, school board meeting, basketball game vs. rival high school, "Dirty in the Paint" dance--yeah, don't ask). Adding in fun cultural activities, complicating an already complex carpool scheme, and cleaning the house in preparation could very well take me over the edge. But Big Sis was excited. And we have plenty of space in our house, which we bought for the purpose of sharing. This is the kind of thing we love to do. So we said yes.<br />
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The exchange students and teachers were arriving the evening of Super Bowl Sunday, and we learned in the morning that we had been assigned a male teacher and student. We were disappointed; as a family of three girls it seemed obvious we would be paired with girls. And how would it work with one adult and student? We made an attempt to "trade" our guests with friends matched with two Chinese girls, friends who have three sons. For a variety of reasons, though, we needed to stick with the original plan. And that night we met our teacher, Dong, and student, Li Ze ("Tony"), and began five amazing days of cultural exchange. <br />
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Dong and Tony accompanied Big Sis to school each morning, so they participated in carpool and shadowed middle school students and teachers. We picked them up each afternoon, taking them to the beach, Balboa Park, the Hotel del Coronado, and Seaport Village. We introduced them to Souplantation, celebrated my birthday with them at Corvette Diner, and ended the week with Tony's favorites, pizza and spaghetti. <br />
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It took only a half-day for the awkwardness to wear off and for us to realize we were experiencing something wonderful. I began thinking that there were some life lessons to be gleaned from our week.<br />
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<b>1. Opening Our Home Opened Our Family</b>. Hosting guests brought out the best in all of us. Big Sis was a gracious, attentive, and generous hostess, ensuring that Tony was included in all conversations and activities at home and at school. They became fast friends. After a week when Big Sis and I had not been jiving, I welcomed reasons to praise and appreciate her. Tootsie was charmed by our new family members and had Dong, father of a four-year-old, carrying her around and adopting a special protectiveness of her by the end of his first day with us. Hosting a foreign exchange inspires such simple generosity--we became ambassadors for not only our family and our daughter's school, but for our city, our state, our nation, our culture. We became Team Family, with a shared purpose (versus what sometimes feels like competing interests): invested in them being comfortable, welcomed, part of us. We wanted them to have whatever it appeared they desired or wished for during their visit. We saw glimpses of ourselves in their reactions to us: we're funny; we're loud; we're busy. We practiced our best behavior for most of their time with us until inevitably our warts (sibling bickering, parental impatience) began to show. <br />
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<b>2. We Need to Act Like Tourists More Often. </b> While some of my work obligations were non-negotiable, our guests inspired us to leave work and school early and embark on mini-adventures we normally wouldn't on a weekday: roam the park, play at the beach, make family dinner a priority every night. One evening during our dinner-time sharing of the Best Parts of Our Day, Big Sis offered that spending more time as a family and doing simple but fun activities was a highlight of the week. It was a powerful reminder that the busy schedules of our daily lives don't have to preclude a quick evening dip in the ocean or pick-up soccer in the park, exploitation of this beautiful city we live in and all it offers. We are challenged now to think, if we had foreign guests right now, where would we take them; what would we do? And then consider doing just that, just because. <br />
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<b>3. Expressing Curiosity about Fellow Humans Enriches and Expands Us.</b> We were excited to share our guests and our experience with family and friends. My brother and his wife brought their children over for a boisterous family dinner with Google Translate experiments, comparisons of and cross-cultural help with homework, discussions of food, and passing around of babies. We were reminded by Dong, who, per the Chinese norm, has one daughter and wishes he had more, what a privilege large families are. Each new person we introduced Dong and Tony to brought out different sides of and information from them, too, including our Auntie T who's been to China four times, and our friends who are half Chinese. We take a certain amount of multiculturalism for granted in our country, but we don't often take the time or have a safe opportunity to question and share with the clear intent of understanding one another's culture for the sake of better understanding humanity. <br />
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<b>4. We Live in a World of Wonder and Wonderfulness. Approach Life as an Adventure. Practice Curiosity.</b> Tony and Dong had never been to the ocean. Have you been to the beach with people who've never been to the beach? That made the beach 10,000 times more fun than it usually is. The digging in the sand, the cartwheels on the shore, the squeals when waves of chilly water lapped over toes, the sunset: all of it inspired a giddy celebration of simply being, and being in nature. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjerzBCfgTl7vomWgcg5EGKpq9xvpZz5-MHVhQ8-53hvhyAkuSJX0uF2X4sY1O7ND_L4W8oJa5gyuknQp-HyMnUv9tsqmAA-8F57RCzIcqutrdTddz8G6t-MlDu7elMoJBEILUTlnfHBdGH/s1600/IMG_4227.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjerzBCfgTl7vomWgcg5EGKpq9xvpZz5-MHVhQ8-53hvhyAkuSJX0uF2X4sY1O7ND_L4W8oJa5gyuknQp-HyMnUv9tsqmAA-8F57RCzIcqutrdTddz8G6t-MlDu7elMoJBEILUTlnfHBdGH/s1600/IMG_4227.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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Tony and Dong approached all moments with eyes wide open, ready for surprises and learnings. Every meal, every routine, every drive somewhere inspired more curiosity and questions and awe from our guests. There were some comical iterations of this, too. I sent Big Sis downstairs with a box of tissues for their room on the second night Tony and Dong were here. The square Kleenex box, decorated on the outside as is customary, was mistaken by our guests as a gift, so they expressed overwhelming gratitude to Big Sis for the specially delivered present...and then found out it was tissues and were a little embarrassed. Our tall pepper grinder was a mystery, so we emptied it to show them what it was and how it worked, with all of us grinding and sniffing pepper in demonstration. The pepper reveal led to a tour and tasters from our spice cabinet, with Dong sampling Tajin and needing a tall glass of water as a result. Our family's structure, with Husband having the day off on Mondays and watching Tootsie, and my often-long work hours, was eye-opening to Dong, who described more traditional gender roles in Chinese families. Meanwhile, we kept reminding ourselves that China was a country of largely no siblings, recognizing how our big-family backgrounds informed our world views, and even the questions we asked our guests. We asked Tony and Dong what surprised them most about America. After thinking a while, Tony, from Beijing like Dong, responded, the air. The clean air. Viewing our world through their eyes imbued with a renewed sense of gratitude.<br />
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<b>5. Caring and Giving Provides Us with Higher Purpose.</b> Most of us give to and care for others as part of our daily lives. But moments when we are accountable to others in new ways recalibrate our priorities and help us find our center. I have times when I work later than I planned and my family pays, and I feel guilty but also that the sacrifice is necessary. But this week I felt a renewed sense of obligation and tug. When I left work it was to be there for my family AND our special family, whom I grew to love in short time. Hosting Dong and Tony made work feel a little less critical. It made going home more so. It made life richer for all of us. We're going to try to hold on to the important parts, and embrace opportunities that stretch our family beyond ourselves. <br />
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<br />ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-35912296919989471082015-01-15T21:57:00.000-08:002015-01-19T15:27:17.473-08:002015: In Which Lice Appears to Be More Important Than Family News<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-77xGlCksaBWNvlU6FB17YOXndT2D8EDyZKEXF7k69UMdSk4bwW7ifnewlohRNiwYV3XcKnnU_dYQG5ONlNO07VsGSvMOWn7DEv8MWyUoL59bifKMFQK0CIITvZQV0ipa7LvmTaxzJrDB/s1600/IMG_4006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-77xGlCksaBWNvlU6FB17YOXndT2D8EDyZKEXF7k69UMdSk4bwW7ifnewlohRNiwYV3XcKnnU_dYQG5ONlNO07VsGSvMOWn7DEv8MWyUoL59bifKMFQK0CIITvZQV0ipa7LvmTaxzJrDB/s1600/IMG_4006.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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Well, hello there 2015; I'm finally getting around to acknowledging your arrival.
We greeted you in the company of my parents with a champagne toast,
fresh off the plane from a wonderful visit in the Caribbean with my brother’s
family, where seven cousins, two extra aunties, as well as dogs, cats (both
young and old and ailing*), guinea pigs, iguanas, geckos, and mosquitoes shared
a house with a view of the sea. We swam,
ate, hiked, cooked, played football and baseball, talked, snuggled, and mostly
just enjoyed being related and being together.
Tootsie soaked up love and attention twelve-fold. <o:p></o:p></div>
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2015 opened with Middle Sis’s 3<sup>rd</sup> grade teacher’s
resolution that There Shall Be No More <a href="http://mywholelifeisonthetipofmytongue.blogspot.com/2012/04/louse-in-house.html">Lice</a> in her classroom (even <i>she</i>
contracted the critters, poor lady). I’ll be
discreet and share that we were intimately involved in a lice intervention the day before
school resumed, and it was only a week later that we received the teacher’s
email of surrender: “Lice Is Back.” If one can conjure humor while managing the
specter or reality of lice, there’s a certain comedy to be recognized in its
effects on otherwise sane-appearing and level-headed mothers. Creatures so tiny with such magnitude of
power to bring successful, confident, resourceful women to their knees! We join a sisterhood around the trauma of
lice, a sorority of horror and sharing of remedies, with crying and raw-scalped
children who are victims of and audience to the drama of slathering, combing,
shampooing, laundering, drying, spending, rinsing and repeating. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Lice is prehistoric.
Lice doesn’t discriminate. Lice
will never be vanquished. It’s kind of
awesome, and I mean that literally, how the little buggers maintain their
hegemony over us, no matter how rich, educated, clean, willful, and powerful we
think we are. It’s only our Type-A
vigilance, our determination, that keeps the villains from rising up in whole
new civilizations, complete with hierarchies and alphabets. <o:p></o:p></div>
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[And here's where Big Sis points out with disdain that I've devoted more of this blog post on lice than I have on our trip to the USVI--Ed.]</div>
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Big Sis wants No Part of Lice, so while I was out of the
house for a few hours one day, she helpfully stripped our couches, beds, and
pillows and generated a mountain of (quite possibly) unnecessary laundry. It wasn’t long after I recovered from my own
grousing and folding of sheets and towels that our elderly dog’s bladder
control surrendered. Into the washer and
dryer went multiple loads of dog bedding and towels. And it wasn’t long after I committed myself
to the cycle of dog clean-ups that our washing machine surrendered. And it wasn’t long before the washing machine
broke that Husband conveniently left town.
Right after that I recognized that Tootsie had Hand, Foot, and Mouth
Disease. Right after that our babysitter
fell ill with a horrible flu. Right
after that Tootsie spent some time in my office at school. Right after that I had my own cry right there
in my office. And my mother’s help and
proximity became valuable AGAIN. Not to
mention her washing machine. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Meanwhile, Husband and Middle Sis were in Arlington, where
his father was interred at the National Cemetery. The special ceremony was on Husband’s
birthday, and he was surrounded by a crowd of family members. He and Middle Sis visited sites in Washington
D.C., and bonded with cousins Middle Sis had never met. The three of us who remained at home sent our
hearts, and Big Sis worked through her disappointment over not attending and
experiencing all the family bonding back East.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And Middle Sis returned home last night with an eye infection* and
was excluded from school today. SIGH. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
Some weeks just bring more gifts than others. I'm feeling gratitude that Husband is back, Middle Sis's eye is healing, Tootsie seems healthy, dog has puppy pads to pee on, we don't appear to have lice, and we've got a three-day weekend to purchase a new washer.
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<br />
Onward!ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-10061277820419107582014-11-30T16:56:00.002-08:002014-12-01T22:09:30.338-08:00It's a One-derful Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkX3F9IPeDGt7TmW64Ux1FHFP_c7Ob9jkVELQSjL8UnFaCpj0efjPO2UgnM2ihVezh-pD38twQpOQkbkbYeRYYqqK6YbH6Pd0XPrJiFAukodECBYBEwuf80DubVC4HNQhQSmahqeF-bpEA/s1600/IMG_3506-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkX3F9IPeDGt7TmW64Ux1FHFP_c7Ob9jkVELQSjL8UnFaCpj0efjPO2UgnM2ihVezh-pD38twQpOQkbkbYeRYYqqK6YbH6Pd0XPrJiFAukodECBYBEwuf80DubVC4HNQhQSmahqeF-bpEA/s1600/IMG_3506-1.JPG" height="320" width="287" /></a></div>
It's Sunday night, or Back-to-School-After-Thanksgiving-Break Eve, and I'm feeling grateful for the time off and the good times. I'm also noting that last year at this time I felt grateful, but walked on shaky legs, wondering how to cope with my life and my job and mostly just Being Myself. This year, I'm celebrating this one-year-sixteen-month-old and all the joy she has brought us. <br />
<br />
I was explaining to my aunt, who was here visiting this week, that without Tootsie, it would be easy for us--with two daughters eight and eleven years old--to each go our own ways: someone reading here, another on a computer there, someone at a friend's house, on a bike ride...but instead Tootsie is her own nucleus for the family, our touchstone. Everyone gravitates to her in the mornings when she wakes. She's the first one we ask for upon arriving home. Her antics and tricks are the center of our attention. And as she's a toddler, we know where she is at all times, in her best interests and ours. <br />
<br />
Last year she felt like a hurricane to me in terms of magnitude on our lives. This year I recognize her as the eye to the hurricane we are, swirling around her and magnetically drawn in, a beautiful antithesis to entropy. <br />
<br />
We took her on a few hikes and walks this week. She's almost running and jumping now, loving to walk on different surfaces and stopping to run her hands in the dirt (and to eat a rock or two) and to smell every flower. She practices words and phrases and signs some too, and when she doesn't know what else to say, it's "bee-baaa" or "baaa-beee." She dances to Sesame Street and Katy Perry. She's empathetic and compassionate and caring, giving loves and hugs to her cousins and friends and siblings and often teary on our behalves. <br />
<br />
She's been sick the past few days with a high fever, sleeping and cuddling and breastfeeding around the clock. Our initial panic at her high temperature reminded me that she has been remarkably healthy since her time in the hospital. Our hearty, heart-full, happy girl. <br />
<br />
We are so, so grateful. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-28899187731228283092014-11-04T20:56:00.000-08:002014-11-09T07:10:10.025-08:00Pumpkin Made Saucy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm not doing so well at the writing-every-day routine so far. But I'm <i>thinking </i>about writing almost every day! I'm also thinking about exercise every day. <br />
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Tonight I made both pumpkin pizza (original recipe <a href="http://mywholelifeisonthetipofmytongue.blogspot.com/2011/10/pumpkin-pizza.html">here</a>) and ravioli with pumpkin sauce, two favorite seasonal dishes I haven't made in a while. For tonight's version of the pizza I used naan bread for the crust (super quick and way easy), sweet Italian chicken sausage, shredded mozzarella and romano cheeses, and arugula. <br />
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I used the same pumpkin sauce for the ravioli (spinach and cheese), and sprinkled with shredded romano cheese. The ravioli went to feed the twins' parents. We ate the pizza.<br />
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Pumpkin sauce makes for a mellower/less acidic sauce on a pizza, and in my view, draws more attention to the toppings. Worth a try!ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5054270503760281479.post-54461433706820379562014-11-02T21:15:00.000-08:002014-11-05T13:58:42.271-08:00Twins...and ToddlerOur new baby cousins were born last week--beautiful, healthy baby girls and an uneventful labor and birth! Now we have Tootsie and her cousin, only two weeks younger than she, and the twins. It's going to be awesome to have two sets of kiddos at the same heights bumbling around. The two older toddlers are already great fun. <br />
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Slay me for this, but I wouldn't mind another baby. Husband said he wanted to throw up at the mere mention, and can rest assured that my tubes are tied. So I'm happy to have not one, but two new babies to satisfy my need for infant snuggle time. And when I watched my sister-in-law pumping yesterday, in an attempt to build a store for two babies (how do you <i>do</i> that?), I backed off my baby envy a little. I am still breasfteeding Tootsie. Which is not like breastfeeding an infant, by the way. More on that later.<br />
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Tootsie is completely smitten with the new babies. She was like a Love Bully, kissing the baby I was holding with aggressive passion, over and over, and insisting on feeding her her bottle. She must have said "baby" a hundred times or more. She was transformed into (by juxtaposition) a giant smothering affection monster, a manic crazy overwhelmed older cousin in love. <br />
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It was quite a sight to behold, and I used my left arm for defensive moves as she continually came in for head butts/kisses, as my sister-in-law observed with nervous laughter. <br />
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There's no absence of love, as well as little fingers and toes in our family. It's awesome.ferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13206469400998068200noreply@blogger.com0