Couched in Innuendo

One of the awesome parts of our new house is the family room downstairs that opens onto the deck, a large open space with great windows and afternoon light.  I'd dreamed of having a house with a separate living area for the TV and kid movie time--you know, a place for the family to hang out when I'm hosting book club in the living room.  But I'd also dreamed of having a third bedroom and more than one bathroom.  I didn't think we'd wind up with a family room and everything else this house comes with too, so I'm pinching myself.  We moved in five days ago, and it's still exciting to come home from work everyday. 

A bigger house means we could use more furniture, but I'm resisting filling the place in the manner of our former home (you recognize you may be on furnishings overload when you can't find a space to do a wall-sit and your house resembles a thrift store showroom).  Nevertheless, our new family room demanded a couch, and a stain-resistant sectional seemed like the perfect choice.  A new sofa was a budget priority, so I researched seating options while we waited to move in. 

I explained to my skeptical mother that I was looking for a new couch online.  It had to be within certain width specifications to fit the space, I elaborated, and I felt confident I didn't need to sit on it to find the right one. 

"We are looking for a sectional with a chaise." 

"A sexual?"  my mom answered.

"I think that option is more expensive," I laughed.  "A sectional, Mom.  A sectional."  And then I wasted no time transcribing our conversation into a text to my siblings. 

I continued searching for the perfect couch online.  I wanted a spill-proof sofa that cost less than a compact car.  High-quality leather sectionals were ruled out. 

I consulted my father.

"Dad, have you heard of bonded leather?"

"Bondage leather?"

"Bonded leather, goodness."

Folks, allow me to introduce you to our Sexual Couch with Bondage Leather.  It did not come with chaps or a bullwhip, but we think it's pretty perfect (and G-rated, thus far):