13.1

Tootsie and I are up early celebrating the 32-week mark today--and that we're halfway to the 34-week mark from where we were when we arrived.  Every single day counts in a baby's development.  I never wanted my babies to come early, having appreciated so much the sleeping and eating prowess of a full-term baby when Big Sis was born. It's interesting to watch one's perspective change with circumstances; if Baby Tootsie is born today at 32 weeks versus at 30 like when we arrived, she has a much better prognosis for breathing, maintaining body temp, breastfeeding sooner, etc.  And 34 weeks now sounds so desirable--so far along.  It's glass half full vs. six weeks early.

I'll admit, despite doing very little--seriously not doing much at all, folks--to be quite proud that I'm succeeding in my singular task of incubating this little baby.  Forces beyond my control are conspiring with me as well:  contractions have abated, I have no signs of infection, and Tootsie keeps looking good on the monitors.

I miss my girls.  I'm not sure they've been away from me an entire week before, and they'll be off on another adventure next week.  What generous gifts of time and attention they're receiving from friends and family.  With Sarah and her kids and her mother in Maine, my daughters have boogie-boarded, zip-lined, constructed fairy houses in an island forest, and most importantly, been treated as members of a family and loved accordingly.  That they are quite likely having an epic summer despite all this disruption and uncertainty is a huge comfort to me.

Husband is back home working while he can, taking care of the dog, missing us, and fighting feelings of helplessness.  We are all doing our parts on Team Tootsie.  Some jobs--lying here--are actually easier than others.

I'm receiving sweet gestures from far-away friends--flowers, a care package of treats which rendered my jaw Milk-dud glued shut for part of yesterday afternoon.  A dear former student came to visit bearing a huge mangosteen smoothie, but the best gift was her time--she stayed for hours regaling me with stories of her young adult life and work as a film producer.  We caught up on news of her classmates and the latest changes at our high school (she did grill me a bit on some transformations we've made to longstanding traditions like Powderpuff, since she graduated).  We had a fantastic afternoon.

The comical part of yesterday was when I attempted to log on to a few sites--my blog; Pinterest, which I've only this week dived into; The Huffington Post, to read another former student's column (how cool is that??)--only to find myself blocked.  I sent some pleading messages when prompted to contact my "network administrator," but remained censored until last night when freedom of information finally opened to me again. Phew.  I think this weekend may be National Get Off The Grid time, when we're meant to unplug and log off.  I'll try experiencing that another time, when going outside for a hike is an option.

Finally, I am getting to know my caregivers here, having the same doctors and nurses for multiple days and nights.  They certainly know my story, and I'm learning theirs--pregnancies, impending weddings, ailing relatives, family vacations coming up.  Everyone as a story.

One of my doctors asked my student yesterday for summer movie recommendations.  Without pause, she endorsed The Way Way Back.  Check it out.