Friday, November 30, 2007

Fanny O'Rear Buys 4XL Granny Underwear on!

Hellooooooooooo, Facebook! Which genius marketing firm told you that the Beacon feature (which broadcasts members' online purchases to ALL their friends) would be a grand idea?


The article I read this morning about this ill-conceived plan highlights the case of a sweet husband who bought a diamond ring for his wife FOR CHRISTMAS on, the purchase and exact specifications of which were promptly sent to all his friends and HIS WIFE.

That is a sad story (only sadder if the ring was in fact for someone other than his wife...). And it gives us so much to talk, diamond rings? On Like, why 1/5 ct., huh, Sean? What does that mean? Oooh, now I am feeling snarky and mean. Which is Exactly My Point. The story fails to consider the more awkward implications of this rather obvious invasion of that elusive, once-upon-a-time-notion called "Privacy." Namely that the average person probably makes much more mundane and much more personally revealing purchases online, the particulars of which I am doubting he wants Everyone He Knows To Know About (and Talk About Behind His Back).

Is it possible that the marketing gurus in charge of this scheme were so focused on Americans' natural penchant for purchasing that they forgot that our inherent consumerism (and its excesses) are often guilty secrets? Did someone think this was a brilliant way to capitalize on the "fact" that we already announce to one another each and every acquisition? Dear (Address Book)! I bought a replacement nozzle for my ShopVac on! FYI! TGIF!

So silly. But take-backs make great news!

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